u/ky8724

Ive been "homeschooled" for almost 10 years now (kept inside and taught nothing) I was pulled out of school, because of my parents separation/attachement issues with me and my brother.

I recently realised how fucked up the whole thing is, and that I want my independence. Im about to turn 17, and im planning on trying to move out at the end of the year. I got 2 jobs, started meeting people/making friends, and im working on enrolling myself in school for next year. It all has caused huge arguments and problems, but i kmow its worth it so I wont be stuck here forever.

Anyways, my parents attachment issues have come back WAY worse. They will literally whinge and whine and complain at me, when im just trying to go to work. Theyve also started babying me and stuff. (Raising the tone of thier voice, asking if i need help with things ive haven't needed help with since i was 5, treating me hanging out with people like its a play date etc)

And I get empty nest syndrome and stuff like that, but like, its almost as if they are angry and upset and jealous that i have friends, and im working.

Like theyre upset that they aren't the only thing my whole world revolves around.

Also the way they act is making me really uncomfortable.

And my parents have also always had issues with full on helicopter parents, and being super over controlling. But now, everything is a full on integration. Not just normal questions that an involved parent would ask, but it genuinely feels like a police interview. Like, as an example, I had gotten a lollipop from the break room at work, and for 10 minutes they wouldnt let up about "where i got it from" and they weren't listening when I said it was from the staff room. (There's been so many examples though)

But then, they will just get pissed off at me over nothing, and just give me the silent treatment for days, and act as if Im super suspicious or doing something illegal.

As if working 13 hour double shifts most days isnt exausting, coming home and having to deal with all this IS SOOOOO EXAUSTING!!!!!!

Like genuinely, why are they like this?!?!? And what can I do to stop it???? And has anyone else experienced it!??!?

(Ty to whoever reads this! Any help is appreciated!!) Sorry if parts dont make sense im so tired rn)

​

Im so losttttt😭😭😭😭 Im extroverted and make friends pretty easily, but whenever I see a girl who I think is pretty I just lose every social skill ive ever had lol.

Anyways im going to this new school program thing next year and there will probably be girls around my age there (since the whole program is for 16-17 year olds). Social clubs/events are super difficult to find here, and im not is school anymore, so there's never really a "spot" for me to meet people, so that why im excited for this program thing!

Anyways, i have NO IDEA how im supposed to talk to girls!! Like, how do i flirt subtly enough? How do i start a conversation? How do i complement them? How do i ask for their number in a "more than friends" way? How do i ask to hang out, or go somewhere? How am i supposed to act??? Etccc!!??! LIKE HOWWWW!??!?!

Like I can do most of this stuff when its friends, but as soon as i like them, or think their pretty, its like i turn into a total idiot lol. Like WHYYYY!?!?!?! What am I even supposed to do?!?!??!??

Plsss!!! Any advice or tips or ANYTHING is helpful😭😭

I know its silly, but im super excited!!!! Ive been really poorly homeschooled for a while now, but I really want to fix my education, and then go into forensics and crimonology one day.

I found out about this program that will teach you the basics, and if you score high enough, you can go into any degree!

Anyways, ive been WAY to scared to do it for months now. I was so nervous about what kinds of things would be on the application, and im really worried i wont get in, but... I JUST APPLIED!!!!!! I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!

I almost cried multiple times because I was so nervous about it, but i kept with it and applied!! I dont find out whether I get in until December though, so im still kind of freaking out, but at least I did it!

(And then after I sent the application out, and got the confirmation it had been sent, I realised I fully misspelled a word, and had mini panic attack lol)

Like genuinely!??!? Where do you even go?!?!? Like I feel like i look/dress and code in a pretty gay way (even tho I think "dressing gay" is stupid). But like, i feel like im the ONLY lesbian in this area😭😭😭

Like legit, Where would i go? How do I know if theyre gay? How do I start a conversation? Like HOWWWWW!??!?!?!

PLSSSS!!!! Any tips or advice is REALLYYY appreciateddd!!!

The yearning is lowkey getting too much atp😭

(Also, im not really interested in meet people online)

Ive never felt like my name fit me properly. (Its \*super\* feminine, girly, based in religion, and its meaning is like the total opposite of me lol) plus it doesn't really fit my vibe. My friend and I were talking, and came up with a PERFECT name! I can not wait until I can change it in a year, when I turn 18!

But, im kind of confused on how it would work socially? I understand the whole legal and government side. But, how do you go about changing your name with people you know, coworkers, bosses, friends etc. Like, where i live, its a bit more conservative, so being gay or queer in any way is either "weird" or a "joke". Plus, i have no idea how i would even bring it up in the first place lol.

Its not a unconventional name, and some cis girls do have it, but its VERY different from my current name.

I would really appreciate any advice, tips or help!!! Thank you in advance!

Im 17, but im working 2 (about to be 3) casual, customer service jobs. Im about to leave my parents place so I need money atm, but genuinely its so difficult!!!! Not the workload, (i mean... it is, and im tried af, but i know its what I need to because of my situation).

But what's difficult is dealing with the schedules!!!!! One manager does rosters on Thursday but sometimes doesnt even do them until late sunday night, the other place doesn't do a roster and just sends out random shifts for you to confirm or not. And one manager gets pissed off if you ask to swap shifts, and the other place doesn't let you swap or cover shifts at all.

And sometimes I'll have 26 hours at one place and 15 hours at the other for the week. Then the next week ive got 0 shifts at one place, and one 3 hour shift at the other, and thats it for the entire week!!!!

ITS GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATINGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Like I get that casual work and hours are unreliable, but STILLLL!!!!!! And i ALWAYS try to work around my managers schedule, yet they still are pissed off at me for needing multiple jobs!!! Like its not my fault im in a difficult situation!?!!?!??!?

Now im just ranting lol. But like genuinely, what is the best way to make this work😭

I have no idea how to even describe how im feeling. I just feel so SO numb and over everything. How is any of this remotely fair????

I got a job (fully against my parents will) and it kind of made things worse. All my coworkers talk about thier friends, and where i work, most customers are groups of friends my age. And like, I just feel so jealous of them.

I do have one friend though. I met her recently, and i sneak out all the time to go places with her. But she's been having issues with her boyfriend and doesn't really want to hang out as much. But, even meeting her has been difficult because, I realised what ive been missing out on for SO many years. And like, I wish i met her sooner, and i also want more friends, you know?

And like, I really want a partner, and to experience cute dates and "teenage romance". (But that'll be highly unlikely, cause im gay in a super conservative area).

My parents are impossible to keep living with. They blame me for everything. Theres constant fights and arguments. I swear they cant stand eachother, and genuinely hate me. And they micromanage and control everything i do.

I found a place to live, and im planning on moving out at the end of the year/when i have enough money. But, i honestly dont know if i can wait that long. Idk if I'll make it. And thats so awful to say... but its true.

Im just so sick of everything. None of this is fair. My parents made a selfish decision, and ruined my chance at a proper life, fun experiences, and an education. Im 17 years old. Why the FUCK do I have to deal with all this!?!?? How is this fair??? Everything just feels so heavy, and my chest feels almost painful all the time. Nothing feels worth it. I want to cry, but im too numb to even even do that.

I genuinely have no idea what im supposed to do about any of this. Or even how im supposed to make it long enough to get out of here.

Does anyone have any advice or stories of what they did to cope? Or if it ever got better?

So, im kinda doing a mix of moving out/"running away" from my parents. Im planing on doing it at the end of this year and I already have a place with a friend lined up.

But, I need to take a couple of trains/buses to get there. Im not planning on taking a bunch of stuff with me, (most of it is clothes and a few paintings/things i made that could fit into a big duffle bag)

But i NEED to take my posters, CDS and guitars. (Theyre the only things that keep me sane lol). I could roll up all my posters and put them in a tube. But I have no idea how im supposed to travel with my guitars and a crate of CDs. I dont want them getting damaged or broken. And I don't want to be THAT annoying person on a bus or train

I would really appreciate some advice or ideas on what to do!!! Thank you in advance :)

Like I just want someone to go on all these cute dates with, and to buy things for, and to play her music/learn her favourite songs, and make her things, and talk for hours and kiss and all the normal cute little relationship thinggsssggssssss!!!!!!😭😭

I just wanna give someone my lovvveeee.

But like, its so difficult because I live in a very old and kind of conservative area. So theres hardly and people my age around, and barely ANY queer people at all (let alone any my age).

There's hardly any sports, or clubs, or social things around to meet people. And i dropped out, (not by choice, super long story lol) so i mainly just work a ton, and i only ever work with people who are way older than me (and none of them are queer either, so it feels like ive got no community at all).

Im going into this uni education program next year, and im hoping to maybe meet some people there... but like, its unlikely tbh

I JUST WANT A GFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!! Like WHERE ARE ALL THE LESBIANS HIDINGGGGG?!?!??!?!

Legit though, I would really appreciate some ideas on where i can find some queer people because its lowkey getting real lonely out here

(Also how many of yall feel the same???? I need to know im not alone😭)

I have a VERY bad relationship with my parents. They've fully unschooled me since i was 8yrs old. They'll just randomly get super angry and upset at me over nothing and treat me really bad and wont ever tell me why. They blame me for literally anything that goes wrong, even when its not my fault. And ive been taking care of myself for a while now. They also are just so incredibly over controling overall. (Plus a bunch more that i cant even remember atm)

Im 16 (turning 17) and i got a job a while ago against their will. And i just got a second and a third. (And ive been finding education programs and been looking at driving lessons)

I met this girl a little while ago, and now we're friends. We've hung out a bunch, and ive spent some time at her place (without my parents knowledge ofc) recently, her and her roommate were looking for another person and they offered the room to me, and asked if I wanted to stay with them. I just need to save up enough by the end of this year, and i should be able to move in at the start of January. (Its fully safe. Both of them are young women (im a girl) and they have a younger cousin who pretty much lives with them. And sometimes one of their moms stays over too)

I genuinely am so excited at the idea of *freedom*. I have legitimately been fully locked inside for just under a decade. And had every little thing i do or want be controlled or pretty much banned (not allowed to cut, dye or style my hair, not allowed to dress or accessorise how i want, not allowed fo eat or drink certain things etc).

But also, i feel kind of guilty for leaving my parents. Like they *are* my family, so i feel bad for just packing up and leaving one day.

But on the other hand... i wouldn't treat anyone the way they have, and i certainly wouldn't expect someone to stay in a situation like mine.

So why is it that i feel like this!?!?!??!?!?? What do i do?!??!?!?!?!?

I genuinely would appreciate ANY tips, or advice, or even just support. (Im lowkey really struggling with this lol) Tysm in advance 💗 and thank you to whoever reads this

Im 17, and dont have the best relationship with my biological family. I've been legit \*dreaming\* of moving out since I was 12 years old.

My friend, and her room-mate (who are almost like sisters to me) are looking for a another person and offered if I want to move in. I probably won't have enough money until the start of next year. I've been doing my best to save as much as i can, and im about to get a 3rd job.

Im so incredibly excited to move out, and actually be \*free\*. Free to dress how i want and style my hair. Free to cook and eat and watch, buy what I want. Free to have a proper social life, and not have to sneak around all the time. Free to not have to care for and live my life around my parents. Free to actually get and fix my education. Plus so many little things that I cant wait for.

But also, im kind of scared, and nervous. Plus I feel a bit guilty too.

I know this will be the best option for me, but I wish I could stop feeling so scared and almost cowardly.

I would genuinely appreciate any support, advice, or encouragement. Tysm in advance 💗

(Also, id really appreciate some tips on moving, and what to pack and bring and stuff!!) Thank you!!💗

I recently started working at a cinema, and i personally LOVE collecting posters and wall art (and my younger sibling kinda likes them too)

Im curious if you actually are/if you have been allowed to take the posters home? And when would it be okay to ask if i can? (I've only been working a week so far, so i think its kinda early rn lol)

Thank you in advance!

Maybe its just my manager, but sometimes, you can go a week with 3 hours MAXIMUM and sometimes you get 28 hours a week. And it happens if you do something that pisses them off (you get less if they decide theyre mad at you).

A few weeks ago a family member went in for emergency surgery. So I had to get a cover for 1 SINGLE SHIFT and i worked my other ones. But the next week, boom, got all my hours cut.

Last week, I got a new job (that's still retail, but ALOT better) and the first day, lined up with a shift at my other job, so I swapped shifts with someone else. So I still worked, but on a different day.

The manger messages me and ask me what's going on and why I've had to swap and cover a few shifts recently. I said there was some family stuff, and I started at another job, and needed to attended the first day. I also explained that I am happy to move the hours around at the other job in a way that works for them. They said that I need to "figure out which workplace I prioritise." (Which like, i need both jobs atm, but it would be a really bad look to cancel my first day at a new job... plus the other job is better)

Got the roster... I have one 4 hour shift this week :| Mind you, a TON of people are off rn, so theres DEFINITELY hours available for me.

Like, this is my first experience in a workplace (im 17) but is this kinda behaviour normal? Like, did I do anything actually wrong? I still worked the shift after sawpping it, and i only had to get a cover once for a serious problem. Plus, im being accommodating by making the other jobs hours work around my managers schedule. Right??????

Maybe its just my manager, but sometimes, you can go a week with 3 hours MAXIMUM and sometimes you get 28 hours a week. And it happens if you do something that pisses them off (you get less if they decide theyre mad at you).

A few weeks ago a family member went in for emergency surgery. So I had to get a cover for 1 SINGLE SHIFT and i worked my other ones. But the next week, boom, got all my hours cut.

Last week, I got a new job (that's still retail, but ALOT better) and the first day, lined up with a shift at my other job, so I swapped shifts with someone else. So I still worked, but on a different day.

The manger messages me and ask me what's going on and why I've had to swap and cover a few shifts recently. I said there was some family stuff, and I started at another job, and needed to attended the first day. I also explained that I am happy to move the hours around at the other job in a way that works for them. They said that I need to "figure out which workplace I prioritise." (Which like, i need both jobs atm, but it would be a really bad look to cancel my first day at a new job... plus the other job is better)

Got the roster... I have one 4 hour shift this week :| Mind you, a TON of people are off rn, so theres DEFINITELY hours available for me.

Like, this is my first experience in a workplace (im 17) but is this kinda behaviour normal? Like, did I do anything actually wrong? I still worked the shift after sawpping it, and i only had to get a cover once for a serious problem. Plus, im being accommodating by making the other jobs hours work around my managers schedule. Right??????

I'm the eldest, but only by 3-4 years. I was "lucky enough" to get at least an extra year or two of schooling before we were both pulled out FAR too young.

This year I went out and got 2 jobs, and finally met a friend that I've been hanging out with, and ive been saving for my car/own place (all of which my parents absolutely fkn hate me for). I've also been teaching myself all the things I've missed over the 8+ years (and i spent alot of those 8 years reading and writing stories, to fill the time lol).

Alot of people dont even know, or really believe I've been homeschooled​, which is lowkey a relief lol.

But, I'm so incredibly worried about my brother. He can barely read, and hardly spell. He asks questions that are so far behind his age group it makes me feel SO bad. He can't really hold, or keep, or even start a conversation, and he really struggles socially, even with family members and stuff. Plus he struggles with things like time management and instructions, and actually listening to what people are saying.

I do understand that *some* of these difficulties are due to his autism spectrum diagnosis. But, also, ALOT of them are caused by homeschooling. And our parents lack of authority over him because "he's the youngest". He can ignore me, walk away in the middle of a conversation, talk over me, etc. And my parents do nothing. And obviously the struggles with reading and writing and stuff are because all the education he's had has been 1 single year and a half in a primary school.

I dont want it to come off mean or anything. And I genuinely feel so bad writing this, but I've noticed it for FAR too long. (Also, dont get me wrong, there are things he is great at, but they aren't realistically going to help him in ANY kind of job)

I genuinely want to see him make friends, get a job, get out, learn stuff, and do his dream careers, but I'm genuinely terrified of that never happening. I've tried helping him, and he won't take it. Im just worried because, I'm looking at moving out next year, and I know that will break my relationship with my parents, and then him, which means I won't be able to help him. And I feel SO guilty.

I would really appreciate any advice, or support, or even if someone else has gone through this too.

Thank you in advance!

NEED HELP URGENTLY!!!!! Legit just the title☹

I'm WAYYYYY to nervous and embarrassed to say anything, because we havent even known eachother that long as friends, so I'm worried about making things weird!! I have this really weird nervous system thing, where randomly, I'll just vomit. No doctors can do anything about it. I just have to try and do whatever I can not to, or stay near a toilet lol. It happend tonight, and I cleaned the toilet, and wiped a bit off the floor with chemical wipes. Then i lysol sprayed the shit out of the trash where I put the wipes, the toilet and the floor. I don't think I got any on the clothes they lent me, but I wiped them down anyways.

I'm kind of freaking out because I'm worried that things smell like vomit. I chewed a ton of mints, and I smelled the stuff, and it doesn't actually smell bad, so maybe it's just my nose screwing me up?!??! But What if its not, and there is a smell!?!?!?!

I'm what I should do???? I'm lying here freaking out about tomorrow!!! What do I even do!??!?!?! (And im not telling them) Please help!!!!!!

(Title should be I'd sorry)

Legit any help is appreciated right now!!

So, I finally found a friend, we've hung out and chatted a bunch of times. Shes the same age as me, and living independently. Shes moving out of her current place, and asked if maybe I want to live with her at her new place, when she finds one.

I would reallyyyyy like to live with her, not just because she's a great friend, but like, im sick to death of dealing with my parents.

But the only trouble is, my parents dont know I have friends, and I have NO IDEA how id even begin to tell them, "oh hey, by the way, I've known this girl for a while, I've snuck out several times to hang out with her, and now im moving an hour a away with her... Bye" like, how the FUCK am I supposed to even do that?!?!?!

I have a really, really poor relationship with my parents, and I've wanted to live alone since i was 12 years old. They've denied me an education, ruined my mental and emotional health in SO many ways, control every single itty bitty move I make, I've been parentifed, and I've been taking care of myself and my brother for a while (plus so much more, that I'm honestly too drained to even remember)

I finally have a chance at the thing I have had LITERAL dreams about, but for some reason, im kinda nervous, if that makes sense. Plus I kind of feel some guilt, of how much it will upset my parents.

I would really really appreciate any advice or any help, or even just suport would be really apreciated. Thank you in advance, and thank you for reading this :)

Also, I forgot to mention, my parents aren't really that interested in my life, or really that talkative lol. They go to they're own seperate spaces. My father watches tv, my mother reads or watches a show on her tablet. And my brother and I kind of have learnt to do the same. There's never really a moment where they can be all sat down and I can tell them. Plus, im kinda worried that they'll stop me from seeing my brother who I want to keep a relationship with.

So, I'm turning 18 soon, and I'm planing on moving out straight away. I very recently figured out that the "drs" my parents took me to when i was younger were them trying to get me an autism diagnosis. My mother had convinced herself that i had it, and wanted it "proved". As someone who knows people very close to me with autism, I don't believe i have have autism. Then I also recently found out that they have me set up with a whole ndis plan, and I have NO IDEA what is a part of it, and my parents won't tell me.

I'm really worried how much this is going to affect me in general life, and limit me in the way of moving out and stuff. Because I'm pretty sure that i heard something about being able to mark people as unfit to live alone? (Which is something I 100% believe they would do) I legit do not know. And im really freaking out about it.

How do I find out what is going on? And how do i cancel being a part of any plans? And will any of it affect me once im 18?

Any advice helps. Thank you in advance

*Bro, why are so many people arguing wheather I have autism or not??? I know and love people who are very close to me who have been diagnosed, and I suport them with their needs. Also idc if I do have autism, im just saying, that because of how much research I do into mental health, I do not meet any of the symptoms

I've been homeschooled for over a decade, and pretty much just kept inside and not allowed out.

I got a job, (against my parents will) and I finally started being around people at work, but my coworkers found out I was homeschooled, and now treat me really weird.

But one night recently, I was sneaking out, and me and this other girl missed our train, we started chatting and we got on pretty well, and had a really similar vibe. We chatted for ages, and exchanged numbers/insagrams.

And we've been texting and chatting, and we've gone places and hung out several times. (All which she invited me too, which is crazy, because I genuinley feel like everyone hates me and thinks I'm annoying). And we have so many similar interests and things. It's been SO much fun. Plus we've even made plans for a few weeks in advance, for things that she suggested. So it's not like I'm forcing her to hang out with me or anything lol.

Like, I legit just feel so much happier and "lighter" in a way. And I have had really, really bad depression, so it's really nice to finally be happy, you know?

My parents always told me "You don't need friends. It's pointless, and just for the movies. They'll only hurt and betray you. You just need family" and a whole slew of other things. But like, holy shit were they wrong lol.

Plus, im an INSANLEY extroverted person, and always have been. I will chat to any one about anything, and she's the same, and super extroverted too.

It's so nice to finally feel like a normal teenage girl? And to actually enjoy living day to day (holy shit that's so depressing, im sorry)

Idk, why I'm posting this lol. I guess I just want some suport, or to know if anyone else has experienced this.

Thank you in advance!