r/TalesFromYourServer

This just happened and thought you all would like to hear this disappointing story, and I’d like to read your similar stories below. Other than the occasional old man grabbing my arm at tables, I’ve never had someone do something so carelessly and rude like this.

I have been working as a server for almost 2 years and the place I work at is a nice, consistent, small-chain steakhouse. I was the second server to come in and I got sat a two-top next to the openers table (four older people). I greet my table and end up standing between the two tables so I can see both of my guests who are sitting across from each other. My table was friendly and we were chatting a bit about wine and seasonal menu items. While I’m talking, I feel my braid bang against my back. Now, I have very long hair down to my butt, and I braid it for work. I get a lot of compliments from guests, but no one has ever touched my hair. I thought maybe my hair caught onto something and fell into place, so as I look back to see if I caught it on something, I see this old man sitting behind me laughing and saying “oh I was just playing” while the rest of his table is chuckling. I said “oh” and slid out of where I was standing to continue talking to my table. The lady at my table played it off saying something like “oh yeah, if I could I would be playing with it too!”

I got my tables orders and then told some coworkers who agreed it was creepy as hell and the opener said they were being annoying (throwing napkin balls at another table, etc). I stayed away from that table the rest of the time, stood awkwardly behind my table just to avoid being near him again. I didn’t want to cause a disturbance, so quietly avoiding was enough to state I wasn’t a fan of what he did.

The guy kept looking at me anytime I came around to check on my table, and even tried to say something later once I was closing out my guests. I didn’t hear what he said, but it was something along the lines of “you won’t let me play with your hair again?” and the ladies who were sitting with him shushed him. I ignored him and got tf out of that area to deal with the rest of my guests at my other section.

It sucks we have to put up with verbal abuse here and there, but when it gets physical, I feel like you should get kicked out or at least given a warning. NEVER touch staff members unless you’re offering to shake their hand and they accept it.

I don’t know why (especially old men) feel like they can touch people without their permission, especially while they’re working and have to stay professional. I probably could have shown concern to my managers and they would have said something, but I just didn’t want to make a scene.

I know some of you have similar stories, so please share them! I’d even take advice on how to handle/what to say/do if this happens again. Good luck to you all out there!

So for context, I transitioned into hospitality after leaving a low-paying toxic office job. I want something more flexible with better tip potential while I save money and eventually go back to school.

Right now I’m trying to get into barbacking with the goal of eventually becoming a bartender. I have about 2 months of recent food runner experience which is on my resume as my current job, but I actually quit yesterday, and around 1 year of serving experience from years ago.

The reason I’m asking this is because I got the food runner job literally by walking into a restaurant, talking to the manager in person, and I got hired on the spot. So I assumed bars/restaurants moved pretty fast with hiring.

This week I went to about 7 bars/restaurants dropping off resumes between 2–4 PM on Monday during non-peak hours. The issue was that there were no managers around for any of the places, so I had to hand my resume to bartenders who said they’d pass it along.

Some places said they weren’t hiring but would keep my resume on file. Some said they weren’t sure if they needed barbacks so they’ll give my resume to the manager. One place the bartender told me they actually are hiring barbacks right now and said he’d give my resume to the manager. But he was making a drink at the time of grabbing my resume so idk if that changes things lol. Also, I really want this specific place because it’s close to my house and always busy.

It’s now Thursday morning and I haven’t gotten a single call, so I’m wondering:

- chances they forgot?

- chances my resume got lost?

- is 2 days just too early to expect a response?

- or worst case, the manager saw my resume and said nah?

- or even worst case, the bartender threw my resume away after I left? Lol

Would it be reasonable to go back in today (Thursday) to the place that said they need barbacks rn and follow up? I just need a job asap.

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We had a large party a month ago. Blocked off part of the restaurant, food and liquor packages, a couple separate servers, etc. You know the drill. Parties include an auto-grat that's listed as a service fee. They left an additional tip when they signed the final bill at the end of the event. I was not present during that signing.

Today a party member said they didn't realize there was an auto-grat and asked management for the extra tip back. The restaurant presumably complied because management told me to acknowledge the portion of the extra tip I was paid would be taken out of my next check.

Have you ever encountered this? Does my restaurant have to reimburse taxes they initially charged me for that income?

Hey everyone, just need to vent to people who maybe actually get it.

The restaurant industry is stressful enough and that often creates unhealthy dynamics. Like toxic managers who just like to yell frequently for literally anything. That is exactly the position i am in right now.

To be completely honest, the money here is incredible. The base wage is way above average and the tips are amazing. Before this guy got hired, this was literally the best job I’ve ever had. I tried looking at other job opportunities, but everything else would be a significant pay cut, which makes leaving a really tough pill to swallow.

​But this new manager is driving me and all of my coworkers into desperation. Nobody likes him. He micromanages, breathes down our necks, and screams at everyone at any hour. Here is a breakdown of his classic "management style":

​ 1) The second a guest closes their menu, he starts frantically yelling that we need to take their order this exact minute.

​2) If he sees a table eating a salad, he has to ask us anxiously to hit sent on the mains right now (most of the times we already did that, i do not get why he just does not let us do our job alone for at least 2 minutes).

​3) He loves to exaggerate to make us look bad at all costs. He'll scream, "That table has been waiting for 20 minutes!" when in reality it has been like 8 minutes max. And then he loves to repeat on top of this:" If you do not want to work, just go home"

4. And if you try to calmly correct him with facts, he loses it. God forbid you go against his word. Another catchphrase he loves to repeat is: "If you don't like the way i operate, you can go home."

5. As you could have noted above, he really likes to tell us at every opportunity to 'just go home'. Which i find really humiliating. Plus, since this manager got hired only a few months ago, he already fired 3 people on the spot and threatened to fire also another guy before he calmed down after another of his explosive daily and angry outbursts.

The worst part? Trying to report him and his behaviour to higher ups is totally useless. The other manager, the restaurant owner and this guy are all best friends. Reporting him would just put a target on my back.

I am getting mentally exhausted. I've realized that preserving my mental health, dignity, and sanity has to come before a big paycheck. Because he's protected by the owners, he isn't going anywhere. I’ve decided to stick it out through the end of the high season (around January) to stack my cash, and then i am handing in my notice. ​It just sucks to see a once perfect job get ruined by one highly instable and arrogant manager. ​Has anyone else ever experienced a working environment similar to this one?

This is just so humiliating because I have no idea what the actual problem is. I have done events sporadically through Instawork and Qwick, mostly working buffet stations at holiday brunches. Never did plated dinner or any real waitressing before. Nonetheless, I got hired at a handful of catering/event companies around NYC. But it's all a disaster that keeps blowing up in my face, no matter how hard I try to get things right.

My first job was in April at a very high-profile luxury event space in lower Manhattan. I was offered a two week trial, and told that if I passed the trial and met their standards, they would buy me a uniform and I'd be an employee. I passed the trial and got the uniform, but then got fired a week later because "you aren't up to speed around here. You aren't getting the hang of things." They refused to offer me any specific feedback on anything I did wrong when I asked.

Yesterday, I had a shift at another high-end restaurant through a staffing company and got sent home an hour into my shift. I was never assigned a task, but I saw my teammates laying out glassware, so I joined them. And then they went to the closet to get rags to polish silverware. I followed them, but they grabbed all the rags and I was emptyhanded. The manager sees me without rags and asks, what are you doing? I tell her I'm helping the team. She then tells the captain to send me home. I asked the captain why I was going home, and she said, "don't worry about it. you'll book other shifts on other days." The next day, I'm informed that I have been removed from all other shifts at the restaurant: "It was observed that you were not actively engaging in your assigned responsibilities, and when approached, the tasks you indicated you were completing were not reflected in what was directly observed by the client."

I just feel helpless. I receive no training, no direction, no feedback, and am unsure of what to do like 40% of the time. They offer no training, no direction, no feedback. It's like they just want you to jump in and figure out the right thing to do, and if it's not the right thing, they fire you without explanation rather than offering you correction. Also, whenever I ask for clarification, I am always met with aggression: "you should know what to do right now." "I shouldn't have to explain this to you." Once I was carrying out some bottles of wine onto the floor and a captain said, that's not how we carry the wine. When I asked him how he wanted it done, he said "it's not how I want it done. It's how it's done. You need to learn speak proper English." Another time I asked a maitre'd where the vacuums were, because I was told to vacuum during breakdown. He said, "go look for it." This was my first time ever vacuuming, and the penthouse was ENORMOUS. It would have taken me an hour to comb through every nook and cranny of the place, and I would have missed the whole task.

If I ask for direction or clarification, I'm bothering people with my stupidity and incompetence. If I try to guess what to do, I do the wrong thing. If I wait for instructions, I'm dawdling. If I look for something to join in on without being sure of what to do and offering to help, I get sent home because I look lost and like I'm doing nothing. It feels like my every move is wrong and I'm terrible no matter what I do. Is there any way that I can improve? I really, really need a flexible job that allows me to attend acting auditions, and I very much want to master this profession and be a good event waitress. But I don't know how to become better, because I never receive any feedback or direction. How do people learn to do this without being taught? Are some people just born with special telepathy skills and innate catering knowledge? I tried to apply for bussing/serving jobs at restaurants but those are very, very competitive and hard to get into.

Hi there. I work at a small cheap sushi restaurant. It’s a small place but we get pretty busy. About a week prior to the incident the same customer had come in. He drank like 3 beers and ordered a bunch of different food. He wanted me to “surprise him” and pick out food for him. He also asked if we served uni which we don’t because we are a cheaper restaurant.

I thought he was nice but he really did take up 5x the amount of my time than the average customer does by asking a lot of questions, having me pick foods for him, and just talking to me in general.

I was surprised because when he got his bill and paid he left me a 1$ tip on a 55$ order. He explained “sorry I can’t tip much, I don’t even know how low my bank account is right now.” So to that I said “no worries, I understand”. I was confused why this guy was drinking so much and asking for uni when he didn’t even know how much money he had but since his card went through I didn’t really care much about the tip.

Jump forward to the incident, I was working with my coworker (usually I work alone since it’s a 9 table restaurant) and it was super busy. We were slammed because it was Mother’s Day so we were both extremely stressed already. People were upset with the wait times, we had probably 25 big togo orders on the line, and in walks the same customer. I didn’t id him this time since I remembered him and knew he was of drinking age (I should’ve carded him).

Same thing, he orders 2 glasses of wine and a bunch of appetizers and rolls. His bill was 65$. He still was asking a bunch of questions and taking up a bunch of our time. He comes to pay using Apple Pay and all his cards declined. He starts saying that he doesn’t have the money to pay and he will get paid later in the week. When my coworker tried handling it nicely she said it’s fine for him to come back later but she needs his id or a card or literally anything to hold onto. He starts saying he doesn’t have his wallet or his cards on him and that’s why he used Apple Pay. She said that we can’t let him go without something and he said he literally has nothing. He had a shoulder bag and his phone and he argued with us and our manager wasn’t there.

My coworker got pretty upset and I was as well because there was a huge line and tons of people waiting to pay for their Togos and this guy was refusing to give us anything to hold onto. Eventually she says you have to leave your bag or something or we have to call the cops. So he leaves his shoulder bag (which ended up being completely empty).

He definitely seemed shameful and embarrassed when he left the restaurant and I couldn’t help but feel a little bad. We could’ve been nicer and there were a ton of people watching so I’m sure he felt bad. He did end up coming back for the bag and paid but my coworker said to not serve him again and tell him to leave if he comes back. She said she was harsh on him because he stated that he KNEW he wasn’t getting paid until later in the week and probably didn’t bring his cards or any id so we wouldn’t have anything to hold onto because he may have intended to dine and dash.

I’m not sure why he did that or why he’d get so much food knowing he didn’t have the money.

What do you guys think? How should we have handled it? Honestly that’s the first time this has happened. Usually when someone can’t pay they leave something and it’s no issues. Just wondering what your guys thoughts are so I know how to handle it in the future.

I work at an upscale Italian restaurant and the other day we had a man come in through our side entrance and start wandering around the place. He was mumbling and hard to understand, but I was pretty sure he wanted a table so I guided him over to the host’s stand. She got him to a table and later on I found him wandering again. Eventually the manager had to come out and reseat him (he should’ve been 86’d but my manager is too nice for his own good).

He ordered a pizza, ate only the toppings with a fork and knife and wandered around some more. Eventually the manager found him, the man said he couldn’t pay and the manager let him go without ID or anything, which is honestly ridiculous in my opinion. He never came back of course. I’m pretty sure he was homeless and I knew he wouldn’t be paying from the moment he came in.

Ok. I work at a seasonal restaurant 7 months out of the year. It's outside. We open in the spring and run through the fall, until the weather gets too inconsistent.

We just opened for the season. Two weeks ago was our Mock Service/Soft Opening/Friends and Family day. We sent invitations to regulars and industry and vendors, we were allowed to invite our own friends and family to come, and when we had space we would also take walk-ins off the street. This entire day is treated like a training service, and everything is comp'd by corporate.

So when we take a walk-in, we detail them on what's happening. "Welcome! You're looking for a table for two? Absolutely, I'm happy to get you to a table right away. Just so you're aware, we're not open yet, but you're welcome to join us for this Training Shift and help us iron out the wrinkles! Everything you order today will be on the house, and we appreciate your feedback to help us improve!" Very typical corporate script.

A woman comes in. She's looking for Happy Hour. I tell her we DO have a HH, but we're not offering it today, because of the above reasons.

"oh, well I'm really just looking for Happy Hour."

Ok. "Well again, we don't have HH because this is a Mock Service, but everything today is FREE, including alcoholic beverages. Our full menu is available. For free."

"Oh, I don't drink, I'm just looking for Happy Hour."

At this point I'm completely unsure how to help this person. She doesn't even know what's on our happy hour. She's never been here before, she said so. So I know she's not looking for any exclusive items (of which there's only two). She wants Happy Hour!

"Oh! Well aside from alcoholic beverages, most of our happy hour snacks are things on the regular menu, just at a discounted rate. Those are are also available today. For free."

"No, thanks! I REALLY just wanted Happy Hour!" And she waved in a friendly way and walked away.

This woman was never mad, never rude, never entitled. She was friendly and polite the whole time. I just have no idea what she wanted, or why EVERYTHING BEING FREE was not it.

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

ive been working as a server at this place for about a year and today was the busiest day for us. for reference this is a small restaurant where a good day is 2,000 in total and today was well over 4000. not only am i a server, i also clean all the tables, seat people, make drinks, make certain food items, restock materials, answer phone calls, and pack to go orders. i worked a 10 hour shift where i left 30 minutes after the shift because people stayed late.

the kitchen staff has always left on time and today wasn’t an exception. there are only 2 servers in the entire restaurant and we do basically everything but cooking and washing dishes and it was a very tiring day with no breaks for lunch or anything. we made almost 600 in tips today which is a lot for us, so split between me and the other server we would’ve made 300 each. my boss however, after the shift ends, asks us to give a percentage of our tips (he said 15 or maybe 20%) to the kitchen because he said they were busy today. i get paid 7 dollars an hour in a place where minimum wage is 16 dollars. the kitchen staff get paid at least minimum wage.

he even asked me what percentage i think i should give to the kitchen (i’ve never been asked to split tips with the kitchen before) and i told him to give whatever he wants. i obviously couldn’t tell him no because he’s my boss but it’s so frustrating. there was also one particular day in the past where he had taken 50% of my tips because he said he helped because i was alone and it was really busy. his idea of “helping” by the way was moving the food from one corner in the kitchen to the other corner while ordering me to do this and do that while i’m already swamped.

i’m sorry this turned out to be more of a rant bc i’m just so tired and upset

edit: i live in ny and also this weekend is an exception to how busy it is because we are right next to a college and today is graduation weekend. please understand that most days, me and my coworker are making way below minimum wage. this weekend in general is an exception.

So for context I work at a mid-range Italian place, maybe 60 covers, not huge. Tuesday nights are usually slow enough that you get one maybe two tables in your section and just sort of breathe for a bit. Last week I got a two top right at 6, couple probably in their late sixties, very polite, ordered the full thing, apps and mains and dessert. No complaints there.

The thing is they were clearly in the middle of something heavy. I don't know what exactly but the woman had clearly been crying before they walked in , her eyes were still a little red, and they were talking in this low steady way the whole time, the kind of conversation where nobody's raising their voice but everyobdy's paying very close attention. I've seen enough tables to know when people are working through something real.

I topped their water off four times and pretended to wipe down a perfectly clean table near them twice just to make sure they were okay without hovering. They ordered a second dessert and coffee at like 8:40, which meant they weren't going anywhere fast. My other tables had turned twice by then.

When they finally left just after 9 the guy came up to me specifically and said thank you for giving them space. Left 40% on a $90 check. I don't know what they were dealing with and it's none of my business, but I hope the dinner helped whatever it was a little bit.

Some tables you just remember.

i don’t know if i’m the only one but i don’t like toast POS system

it’s bulky, i prefer making eye contact with the guests, more traditional serving

i notice more and more restaurants are moving towards toast i just prefer pen and paper everything instead of a dirty bulky tablet thing

where i work now is about to switch from aloha to toast

This was years ago when I was still waiting tables at a restaurant.

The week of Thanksgiving the owner informed us that we weren't getting raises, nor Christmas bonuses, that year. The following week his wife was covering a manager shift and overheard some of us talking about not being able to make ends meet, afford groceries, pay our rent/mortgages, etc - let alone think about Christmas shopping. She popped into the conversation to say, "I completely understand, we couldn't even afford to have someone decorate our house for Christmas this year, I had to do it myself."

It wasn't too long after that most of the staff (myself included) walked out and the place suffered until the owner sold the place to the existing management. Most of the staff that had walked out came back and things were much better going forward.

19f buffet server, and about an hour ago my boss texted me saying I “need to do better” and that she’s going to talk to me directly about being more polite to customers because apparently there were several complaints about me last weekend.

The thing is I genuinely feel like I do try. I’m constantly moving, refilling drinks, clearing plates, checking on tables, dealing with side work, and trying to keep up when it’s busy. I’m not standing around ignoring people.

I’m starting to wonder if it’s just the way I come across. I’ve been told before that I can look serious or sound blunt even when I’m not mad and I’m not trying to be rude. When I’m busy or stressed, I get really focused and I’m wondering if customers take that as me having an attitude and what to do about this situation.

I’ve been working in hospitality in the UK for 8 years, I am not naive and I’ve also had my fair share of customers be rude to me especially in the restaurant environment I currently work in, however never been sworn at before.

So I was working a quiet opening shift covering breaks so I was jumping from section to section, however because it was quiet I ended up covering a section for an hour and a half. I was juggling my section and the host stand because my section was nearest. For context I work in a food court style setting and the customers tend to be a bit insane due to the location.
To set the scene it was lunch time but we hadn’t had a lunch rush. I had two tables ready to order so I took their orders back to back to then put them through the till at the same time. Whilst I was putting through the second order (I had 2 of the same dishes to put through and then I had to send the ticket). A lady comes up to me at the till (the till is slightly behind the host stand but next to it, the host stand also has a massive sign that says please wait to be seated.) and proceeded to shout ‘DO YOU WANT MY MONEY OR NOT? YOU’RE NOT BEING VERY HOSPITABLE’ because I had been locked in to putting an order through correctly and I explained I would be with her in just a second and that I just needed to finish sending this order which was a two second job (coworkers are either busy or don’t notice the insanity unfolding). And she then carries on telling me that I’m not being welcoming at all and that I should be working harder to ensure she spends her money at the establishment I work at, so I left the ticket and went to seat her. And as I am at the host stand grabbing her a menu I proceed with the welcoming speech and steps of service so I ask if she has any allergies before I seat her. This is the nail in the coffin for her and she tells me to ‘F*** off’ and leaves.
Bit counterintuitive😂
I was a bit taken aback by this and spoke to my manager and we watched the cctv. I guess the reason she had a bee in her bonnet was she had waited behind two girls before they got seated and then left and came back but from her first approach the ordeal was 1m 30s😂😂

It appears at my workplace that all of the servers find someone to all collectively ice out until they leave. And I am next. Why does this happen? How do I deal with this? I have been blocked on every social media platform by my coworkers despite not doing anything (to my knowledge at least?) and talked about behind my back when literally just a week ago, everything was fine after the departure of their last victim of sorts.

What the hell am I supposed to do? Restaurant I work at doesn’t have sections and relies on teamwork so i can’t just mind my own business, talking to them is crucial.

They have no reason to dislike me other than I am a little bit socially awkward as I am neurodivergent. I don’t know what to do but my anxiety is telling me to quit before it gets worse. Obviously I can’t do that, I need the money. Advice would be appreciated

my mothers been dead for 6 years.

and you’re DAMN SKIPPY i told them that too :) she said afterwards “im so sorry, i dont know why i said that”

i said “maam, i dont know why you did either, but i hope the rest of your day gets better”.

pouring one out for all my industry homies tonite, i hope yall had a good day today. 🫶🏻

edited for context: no nothing went wrong, nothing took too long, nothing happened during service except this lady’s own kids “bothering her” while she ate! my bad i guess queen

I’m currently a sommelier but until February of last year I had been serving for a long time.

Tonight was an absolute shit show. I work at a nice upscale place, not quite fine dining but close. It’s in a trendy area of NYC, and we are the flagship restaurant for my hospitality group.

We were understaffed and I honestly feel embarrassed about the service we provided tonight.

For a lot of these moms this was probably the one gift they were getting from their family: a nice meal out. And it felt like we had a hand tied behind our backs being understaffed.

They’ve been doing this staggered in time thing, to save on labor costs. So for the first 30-40mins of service most of the servers were on break. So it was me (the somm) and the two new managers taking tables, while also grabbing bottles for tables and doing my somm thing. It was a lot.

And of course because it’s Mother’s Day, the first turn at 5pm is the busiest! Last week I warned upper management that they should staff today differently because of this, and they didn’t listen.

On top of it all, the kitchen wasn’t keeping up and ticket times for entrees were like 45mins-1hr. And because as a somm, I’m dressed like a manger in a blazer, every table was flagging me down to complain (I may be dressed nice, but I’m an hourly employee and in the tip pool at the same exact rate as the servers).

I was a somm, server and manager lite tonight and it just sucked. These moms deserved a better night out, and I feel crappy that I couldn’t make it happen.

I'm having an issue with my employer that I don't know how to resolve.

A party of 19 highschool boys walked in without a reservation. We are a small single restaurant. Our capacity is limited. So this took up half our restaurant. We only have 2 servers working at a time. The boys were rude, and demanding. Each wanted to pay individually. One adult came in and decided to pay for the entire team. We charge auto gratuity for groups of 8 or more at 17%. This is clearly stated on our menus and on the recipet, both which were provided.

Said adult, paid the total which was $280 with gratuity, and tipped 20$ extra. There was an issue with his payment, and I had to swap computers because one was not working for a specific bank. In the process, something didn't save correctly. The gratuity was supposed to be saved as a tip for the employee not for the entire staff. Total was about 65$. My manager refused to tip it out, and instead tried to adjust the customer tip to add the gratuity differently. In turn, this somehow deleted the entire payment. We had to track down the customer the next day, to have them come back in to pay since their payment had been voided.

A different manager decided this warranted not charging the gratuity, which was a guaranteed tip. Customer also refused to leave a regular tip. I understand not wanting to tip. But the gratuity is there as a guaranteed tip for the service required on a large group. This should never be waived. I lost a 65$ tip, and managed is refusing to compensate for any of it. They felt, with a new restaurant moving into town, they don't want to loose business. I don't feel like this is an excuse. I feel like the company should at least compensate me the mandatory gratuity.

Hi, I work at a winery. It's also full restaurant. Most unpredictable place I've ever worked. We're pretty popular and we take reservations. May or May not have walk ins, you never know.

Yesterday we were packed--Mother's day weekend. We're short staffed in the kitchen and the kitchen manager, the one that holds down fort, just had a baby. She wasn't there and they were doing it without her. They did great. But at the end of the night, they were fucked.

Us servers were done with everything. Kitchen was nowhere near done. Not gonna lie, I intentionally announced myself 'If we're done, I'm going back to help them.'

I went to the back and asked what needed done. Started with prep work and moved on to end of night cleaning. There was 6 other servers and we were done. It was late. 4 out of 6 of them showed up in the kitchen and we banged it out, and the kitchen got to leave before midnight.

I am just so proud of my team. I'm the annoying one always stressing teamwork, but watching them come together for something they really didn't have to do just made me so happy.

Then they all came into work today and kept the teamwork mentality and today went so smooth. Kitchen didn't crash out really either, and it might be partially because of yesterday.

We are all in this together. I say it constantly and I get my eyerolls. I'm going to continue to do what I do, because something is working.

Tl;dr Servers helped the kitchen clean and prep last night and it was honestly a magical moment.