u/Weirdlittlerasberry

I know it’s wrong but I can’t stop. It just isn’t fair. I’m nice, I’m kind, I give and give and give and don’t ask for anything back ever…but I still have no one except my abusive parents. Every time I see someone online talking about their friends I feel so angry. I hate going shopping or to the mall or anything because I feel so fucking angry that all of these people get to have friends and I don’t and I don’t know why. Everyone always says I’m pleasant to be around just kind of boring and not memorable. Is that my crime? Mediocrity?? That’s why I’ve spent a lifetime completely alone??? What the fuck.

If you’re gonna say “it’s always been this way” sorry but no it hasn’t. I’ve been on Reddit for twelve years and it has not always been this way. There has always been antisemitism but it was never this way where I can’t go on ANY sub without seeing the most vile and despicable seething hatred completely randomly. A sub for shitty faux minerals posts a pic of a Star of David and all the comments are about how filthy and disgusting it is, comparing it to feces and saying anyone who is “into that stuff” is genocidal and evil. Another random post on a SpongeBob subreddit that just happens to include a comment from Sartre about antisemitism (but talking about homophobia just using the quote to compare) top comment? “Fuck Israel” literally wasn’t related at all, Israel wasn’t even mentioned only antisemitism was, but I get -50 for asking what that has to do with anything. These people screech about how antizionism isn’t antisemitism and then conflate the two 100% of the time so???

I know antisemitism has always been bad and it’s much worse in various places yea yea but it is not normal for there to be THIS LEVEL of unchecked hatred in completely random places. This stuff bleeds into real life. There is nowhere to be safe on the internet for a Jewish person who just wants to like… look at pics of cats or something. Sorry for being a human being who is part of an ethnicity you’ve decided it’s societally acceptable to hate

Like when they just disappear. Do they just get a regular job? What if their face is super recognizable? How do you ever live a normal life when you can’t even bag groceries without someone being like “hey everyone it’s GamerFart76 the guy who got cancelled for shaving a hamster’s balls” like what do you do?

Literally nothing makes me happy because all I can think about is how badly I want to share it with other people. I want to read a book and then tell someone all about it. I want to go for a hike together. I want to make jewelry for them to wear. If I do it on my own then I’m just endlessly accumulating things and having miserable experiences where all I can hear is the deafening sound of the thoughts inside my head. Today was the most fun day I’d had in over a year because a delivery driver helped me figure out how to use an app. He spoke to me for 6 minutes and 32 seconds and it was the most in depth conversation I’ve had in over a year. How does anyone live this way?

Just looking for something funny and feel good but doesn’t have a dead or dying mom or a cancer storyline. Shrinking is funny and sweet (and not so mindless) but kind of a depiction of the reason I’m looking for feel good shows in the first place. Sisterhood of the traveling pants has some stuff that aged super bad but some very nice moments and then BOOM! Watching an old Barbie movie, dead mom! Okay fine, girly shit and sanguine media has a lot of dead moms, I’ll try anime. Solo-leveling.

Just because I have a cell phone that means I am NEVER unavailable? I can NEVER be out of reach? Are you fucking serious? I missed a call from a recruiter because I was talking to a doctor about my mom’s terminal diagnosis. The recruiter texts: “guess you didn’t want the job that bad.” Actually that job is the difference between me having a place to live or not but sorry I responded thirty minutes too late I guess

(21F) My mom (56F) has stage 4 cancer. Sometimes we have minor disagreements over things because we live together. She doesn’t like that I eat junk food sometimes like having Mac and cheese for breakfast or whatever. That’s fine but my issue is that it always immediately goes to “do you want to end up with cancer like me? Don’t you know what it’s like having to watch someone young and healthy throw that away when I’m in such a state?” It’s very upsetting. I was 19 when she was diagnosed and this whole thing has been really hard. I usually eat very healthy specifically because of this but sometimes I like to have mac and cheese. Do your family members ever guilt trip you with their condition and how do you cope with it?

Any ideas? Just graduated and everyone went back to their states and I’m feeling pretty lonely

Okay so one day you wake up and everything is normal and you leave your house and a bunch of people are like “sky’s red.” And you know the sky isn’t red because you’ve seen the sky your whole life and you can see it right now and it’s blue it’s always been blue. Like when people say blue you immediately think sky like duh? But suddenly everyone has decided that the sky is red AND that the sky has ALWAYS been red. So you look in history books and they’re like, “nope blue sky all along!” And sure there’s been moments when the sky looked red, like when smoke blots it out or during a particularly nice sunset, but for the most part the sky is blue and everyone agrees… but everyone focuses on those few moments of red and say that it proves the sky has always been red when that doesn’t make any sense like go outside RIGHT NOW and look at the sky it’s blue it’s always fucking blue. But they act like you’re crazy or worse an asshole or a monster. You start to keep it to yourself and just slowly go crazy as you see people around you say, “Does this dress look good with the red of the sky?” And you have to just guess because the sky is blue and you don’t understand. Everyone talks about loving the red sky and you just don’t understand and you feel fucking crazy. You finally meet some other people who believe that the sky is blue and they’re all asshole weirdo freaks who are genuinely awful. But you can still see the color of the sky.