Should I apologise if intent was good but affect was bad.
Hi,
Essentially story is my sister struggles with ticks and we were talking about cooking dinner. I asked can she make it and she said no because I might just stick my hand in the pan. I laughed at this because I thought it was a joke because of how bluntly she said it.
She brought up the problem with me (initially with a lot of backhanded comments) essentially saying she was really mad that I laughed at that. I said I'm sorry that it made you feel that way I won't laugh when you bring up that stuff again. She then brought up that I constantly do it which I might do I don't really notice too much at least I remember no negative reactions when I laugh. So I said oh I didn't realise in those situations how would you like me to react? And she said idk but I still want the apology for laughing.
I explained my intention was to make the situation better and thought it was a joke and my intentions were good so I won't apologise for laughing.
It's been a few days and I feel really really conflicted.
A) my intentions were good. I tried reading a cue and hopped on it. I don't control how she reacts to things I say.
B) it still caused a negative effect because of me. While I don't control her reactions what I said was disrespectful looking at it from her perspective. If I tried to help draw someones painting but it ended up looking horrific should I apologise or if someone tried to help someone who was hurt and caused a negative effect should they apologise.
I feel like I should idk I feel a negative feeling I'm not sure what. I also feel like I'm being thick and potentially narcissistic.
Thanks in advance.