u/Borderline_ginger

So I’m kinda curious why after spilling HCl—specifically muriatic acid, so idk if that has anything to do with it since it’s impure—on my hand doesn’t hurt. I even left it there for like 15 seconds out of bewilderment that it just didn’t hurt at all. It did fume for a sec—and the fumes HURT, ouchie my lungs—but other than that it was fine. I washed it off and used baking soda and all that jazz so it should be fine now but I’m still curious.

Is it because of the layer of dead skin?
Is it because it’s muriatic acid?

Im genuinely curious as to why it didn’t hurt.

So in simple terms, I’m obsessed, though I don’t believe that word even encompasses even a portion of the emotions I feel about this random fucking relationship. And no, it’s not a relationship I’m in or want to be in, it’s just a relationship I want to watch. I want to see how it works out, how it will go down with these two characters.

I want to experience everything to do with this relationship, I want to be them, see them, live as them and love as them. I want to feel all of their hurt love and hatred alike. I want to see every possibility, every single universe, every reality in which these two exist (which is ironic because they don’t).

Why is this a problem you ask? Because I think I’ve formed an addiction. All day I think about them. When I get the chance, I consume every piece of media on them. They’ve showed up IN MY DREAMS EVERY NIGHT SINCE THE HYPERFIXATION—still not a strong enough word—BEGAN. IM DYINGGGG. Not only that. But depending on the amount of sleep I’ve gotten—generally because up late consuming media or daydreaming(or is it nightdreaming?) about them—I’ll hallucinate things about them and have literal delusions. It’s so stupid but I’ve literally at points forgotten who I am as a person and became on of the characters for like an hour before snapping out of it and being like “wtf am I doing”. That sounds so fake but I promise you it isn’t. I see them in public sometimes in the corner of my vision, hear them talking, it’s getting really weird. I mean it only happens when I don’t sleep enough but it’s still concerning. I feel so stupid for being this obsessed but also I love them so much with my entire being. I can’t even function that well because all I think about is them. I hate it but also I really don’t because they make me feel so complete. It’s like a primal need to just be them and experience all of them. I don’t even want to be me at this point nor do I want myself involved. If I could, I’d just be ghost alternating realities and observing them. EGHHHHH I HATE IT.

Summary: I’m addicted to a relationship (not one I want to be in, just one I want to watch and see grow and flourish) and it’s getting bad to the point where functioning is hard and also I have hallucinations/delusions about them depending on the amount of sleep I get from spending all night consuming media on them.

This is a really stupid problem to have.