Last goodbye To the one I met last summer in this very page .
I met him when I wasn’t searching for anything just going through sub reddit, saw a post quote “ need someone to talk , anyone will do “ so I reached out in his DM then we naturally talked . The conversation just didn’t end , we got to know each other through text then after a month or so we decided to meet finally but we couldn’t because we were scared to lose the bond we made here , because you know things might change after meeting someone whom you’ve been talking only behind keyboard, it’s like watching a movie of your book and getting disappointed because it didn’t justify our imagination.
So either ways after several days of denial we met each other, it was great i like him and he liked even more . But it’s just that we knew about each other’s past a lot before meeting each other . He wasn’t moved on completely and me , I guess he just an escape from my chaos . So we decided to stay friends but as the time goes by i started to fall for him for real and one day it slipped out of my mouth saying “I love you” and it wasn’t like he rejected me it was just like “ what did you just “ and I brushed it away saying it was nothing. But I knew he knew that I loved him and after that day later on I tried to push him away because even though he didn’t said anything I felt rejected. As time passed by I felt even more weak and lonely he was only person who just gets me without saying much , so I decided to … no actually I don’t remember how but we were on touch again don’t really remember who initiated but it was US again . And this time I decided to keep him even as a friend because I couldn’t just lose him I just miss him a lot even right now . I just thought eventually he’ll see my love and care for him and one he’ll let take me , but nothing like that happened we remained friends and I never ever said or let him know that I still felt the same for him … that was the only way to keep him in my life .
Now he has a girlfriend and I kinda feel like they’re in love atleast Thats what I feel and I have no intention to take that away from him . Since he got into relationship he’s unreachable and even from my side I don’t contact because I don’t want to ruin things for him , he deserve to be happy and loved . So today my motive of writing this was to say goodbye. I never told this to a single soul so I had to just let it out since today im letting him go .
Im letting you go …. Being your friend is not easy as I thought .
For our betterment im letting you go , and im setting myself free from you and your memories, maybe not memories, maybe I keep living there but won’t be holding on . I let you go . From my heart.
I loved you
I love you
And you’re the kindest and loveliest guy i ever met .
Thank you for everything.
We the best .