It's ok bro I hate that I wasn't born a guy too
Look I just found this app. Reddit I heard it sure but this is my first post about my situation that I need an outer perspective on.
I'm a minor (F)( I want to be male in the future but it doesn't matter in this) and my brother is nearly 17 , older. And I can't help but notice the differences in how we are treated especially by our parents. We came from homeless(my parents) to a very comfortable life (now) when I was born it was already a bit fine. So yeah I understand why they might favour my brother as my father said that he feels guilty because when my brother was born they were in poverty and that's why he immediately buys stuff my brother asks which ok I don't really care because I know I don't ask for much except for some candy I want sometimes. They recently got my brother a laptop because he guilt tripped them which ok not my business but it's roughly around 2K (2,084)in usd.(I'm not from the states. I just don't want to reveal my country)
And I don't really care but my family is abusive yet loving?(Sometimes) It's confusing but my mother has a victim complex and my dad is really vain and always thinks my mom is cheating (he's paranoid but lately I suspected her too but I'm sure she's too dense to realize if men did flirt)
Just know we were comfortable not in poverty (a bit important)
And lately I asked for a haircut because I like short hair and I wanted it to be a little boyish especially because my brother goes weekly to get his hair trimmed (dense and straight) were in a catholic school so it's not all that cool it's just fluffy near the top of the face. Anyways enough me describing my brother's hair. I asked for 5 days straight, my mom and dad avoided it in the same week my brother ordered multiple things from Amazon so ik they had money. As we are going on vacation soon ,they said money is tight which I don't think so.. because the trip is more than 2k usd. Anyways so I obviously get a bit sulky because my parents lied and said ok but never actually took me to the salon. Which is ok idc now.
The thing is mother throws things at the ground to get me doing stuff or when I talk back like a metal glass or so sometimes scissors , and I admit she once threw a charging port and it hurt my neck like hell. (I hate her sm , she laughed at me expressing my sucidial thoughts and that I was overacting because she should have sucidial thoughts instead of me because she deals with my dad beating all of us.shs doesn't do crap my brother mostly defends her in fights while I don't interfere at all. And just a netural person there. That's why my brother and mother constantly team up to say crap about me and my dad which i don't really care about)
And I was feeling reckless when my mum was at work (assistant professor) my brother was upstairs so I took scissors and cut my hair(it came out well not as short as I wanted but I got layers and curls and it looked cute.) and I admit it was messy even though I took care of most of the hair fallen it was messy but not that noticable unless you looked . Time skip to where my mum came home and my brother took the broom then paused to tell my mom that he thinks I cut my hair and I said yea because there's no point of hiding the truth.then My own mother proceeded to say I was her property as long as I stayed in that house . I didn't say much because what do you say to that?. Then my mother proceeded to "clean" the house which just involved throwing my stuff in my bed to punish me? Idk. The thing is my shelf is very small. Like really small and my family uses the bottom rank as storage too so I just put my art supplies at the very top ,books at the supposed top shelf, my small boxes of clothes in the last two bottom. (The shelf is 4, I just use the top instead because the bottom is used as a little storage by a cardboard box and my mom threw the art supplies on my bed including a lot of wet paints. So now My bed is messy , for context my brother's shelves . Yes shelves are larger than mine. Like really large he doesn't like me touching any of his books of Charles Darwin which k I understand. But what hurts most is the utter humiliation Of my brother and mother insulting me while I cleaned the kitchen up while my brother cleaned the bedroom (me and my brother share a bedroom with two beds separate, we both have at least the same size beds so yeah.) I cleaned the kitchen up and my mother as I typed this said to put back the paints on the top shelf (why the fuck did you even touch it?( And I did get annoyed and said to leave me alone while kinda starting to cry(it's humiliating.) my brother then said that to stop eating if I'm so useless which ??? Because I don't eat much . Sure I eat something when I want to make it but other than that I forget to eat sometimes maybe that's why I'm underweight for my age but idk (37 kg or 81 pounds)
I know why they favour him tho I guess he gets straight As I get A,B,Cs. I started to learn German because I wanted to go to its good colleges one day and he started to too and it made me feel like garbage. Even though I'm currently better I feel like he'll catch up soon. I also know a bit of french ( learnt it for fun) but I only know simple phrases ig. The worst part is we both liked space but I wanted to be a astrophyist but my brother suddenly said he wants to be one to my parents and now my interest in space is also fading because I don't like constant competition now I'm gonna have the family business even if I don't want it. I'll prb just hire someone to take care of it(mostly water purifiers and chemicals , I'll prb have to take chemistry and business in college but I don't want that. I want acting or something.
And if the earth was flat explain how my life is pretty much going downhill.