Couples therapy
So husband and I have been separated since end of January. Barely any conversation, trying not to be in the same room (my request for space). Only talking through text and sleeping separately. He broke my trust in a big way and I don’t really know how to move past this.
He’s been really open (now that shit has truly hit the fan) and not defensive at all about breaking up our 21 year relationship and the trust that comes along with that. However, I have a lot of reservations about getting back to him even though he is now doing and saying all the right things.
For context, we have two amazing children, and ultimately, he is a good guy that has a gambling problem and a huge ego that has caused issues around trust and lying over a prolonged period of time (6 years). Even now he talks about getting a job that will “make money faster and arrive at his goal” rather than just taking any job to make sure our income doesn’t suffer too much.
We signed up for couple’s therapy as a last ditch effort to try to work through this. The lady said there would be 16 sessions and that we would have to do ‘couples exercises’ that involve us being close with each other again to give therapy a chance. My question is this… has anyone been in a similar situation and could answer whether these ‘exercises’ would include being intimate with him again? I’m not going to lie, right now, that is a deal breaker for me because I’m still emotionally broken and I am someone who attaches emotions to physical show of affection so I’m going to find that really really conflicting and confusing. We’ve not even held hands since this all kicked off months ago!
I know I should ask the therapist but he was right there with me and I wasn’t comfortable saying anything in front of him.
Any advice on how I navigate this?