(Tw ed) venting
I’m kinda embarrassed to post this cause it feels like shouldn’t be a big deal but like this month has just been so hard for me so far and I don’t know what to do I keep binging and restricting ever since I relapsed on binging and purging and I’ve gained 4 pounds since April and I feel really bad. I just binged again and I feel so so bad like I wanna stop so bad cause it’s basically been like: one day I binge then I fast and then I eat a little and binge again. I tried to go back to eating a balanced amount after the binge instead of fasting but it just made me binge again cause I felt guilty for eating (since ive gained weight). I can’t like try to focus on something else bc I won’t be able to feel better and think about anything else until I lose the 4 pounds so I was trying to do that as quick as possible even though I know it might lead to me binging again but like i literally can’t eat an amount for slower weight loss cause i can’t convince myself to not feel guilty about that. Im 15 rn and like I should be focused on school but instead im crying bc of my weight and that’s all I think about and idk what im even doing with my life bruh like that’s all I think about and worry about every day and im so tired. Sorry about bad grammar and stuff this is just a rant I posted on a alt cuz like idk wtf to do and I just wanted to write how I felt.