What do i do and why am i like this?
Ever since i was a kid i have been a very deep thinker.I think about everything ,The way people speak ,the change in people’s tone,the mood of the room etc
My Mom left me with my grandparents to earn in the city when i was 5 .my grandfather is a alcoholic and he used to beat my grandmother to release his frustration,he abused her almost daily,locked the kitchen to make us stop eating ,he even kicked us out of the house.Then we had to sleep in the park.
When i turned 14 my mom brought me to the city with her .Here i felt like i was free for the first year but then the overthinking returned. It’s like i try to predict things and this really exhausts me because i cant stop it.Its like a natural thing that my brain keeps on doing.Its like breathing which happens automatically .
I have a hard time trusting people like really hard time ,i cant share my personal things with anyone i have never been able to,even with my mom.I try to share but i just can’t my brain doesn’t let me.I cant feel emotions like i don’t really know what they feel like i watch the movies and act like i know how to love and show care.
Now am 17 and this thing is affecting in my daily life , because of this i cant even share my feeling ,trust my parents and friends and it makes me lonely. its like i am overloaded with emotions i cant let out