The fakeness and inauthenticity in a lot of recovery circles makes me cringe
Yeah so this is kinda aimed at fellowship type recovery but also there are other type of communities in my area which give off this fake vibe. It’s toxic. I swear they all hate each other, one minute best friends the next hate each other. Gossip about who’s relapsed, people almost get off on it, people they once associated with or were deemed friends. The next is looking down their noses at those who’ve relapsed or maybe just left the meetings. I hate it man. I guess one may call this post contradictory.. am I doing the same here? But I just feel unsafe in those environments. Not everyone is bad. But there are a lot of snakes in the grass and I hate this toxic positivity and everyone’s best friends when none of it is real? I am a bit scared because I myself am checking into detox and rehab next week. And it’s a 6 month program. So I just hope I’m going to get through it as I don’t want to be in recovery for the rest of my life. I want to get sober again but I have other goals and things I want to pursue other than sit round in meetings all day. So how do I recover without becoming part of the problem. I don’t need 100 fake recovery friends. I’ve got friends, some in recovery but the real ones are just I hate to say ‘normal’ people. Not addicts. And it’s refreshing. I don’t want to be sat round talking about addiction for years and years. I want to move on eventually. As I feel that a big part of my relapses are staying too long in these circles.
It makes it inevitable because people always commenting how ‘well’ you are. It’s always projection. People commenting on other people. Exhausting. Just move on with life. Yes addiction is hard, yes coming through it is hard. That is acknowledged. But we don’t have to be these victims of society that need the world to know how hard our struggle is all the time. We can fit in with normal people. We can do normal things. We can associate in places deemed ‘unsafe’ to recovery circles. And no I don’t mean crack dens I mean festivals, etc. anyway I just came to rant because I’m not even back in recovery yet and already tired
Of it and the fake ness of the whole scene.