r/recoverywithoutAA

I fucking hate counting days. Absolutely no one outside of AA cares about continuous sobriety.

I saw an AA member with over 20 years admit to the group she took some of her roommates pain meds. Back down to zero and raising her hand with me for 30 days announcing that we were new to the program. Her sponsor also made her write 3 prayers each morning of that month.

I have about 3 years of near sobriety. I’ve drank 4 times in those 3 years…1 time being a month ago. Do I tell people who ask that I’m only one month sober?

If anyone asks if I drink I just say not really. No one except AA cult members would prod and pry you to clarify exactly when you’re last drink was.

I was very troubled child and ended up doing Na program when I was 15 In a rehab I was forced into in Africa. I since then have relapsed and in a very bad position rn. I’m turning 20 soon and idk it’s js ingrained in my head that there is no recovery without the 12 steps and wondering to see people who changed their lives without using these steps as I hate taking and opening up about myself.

i was reflecting on old relationships today, and i thought of an old timer i used to confide in. she was maybe in her 70s and had about 25 years of sobriety. in retrospect, the advice she gave me was horrible. i can’t believe i ever took her seriously. 

for one, i got my first-ever full-time job offer, and she said it was a bad idea. in her view, i needed an “easy” job to focus on recovery. mind you, she also would tell me i was selfish for relying on my parents for financial support. she’d go as far as describing her experience with homelessness to evidence her staunch independence. 

so, i, a person with mental illness who's reliant on having access to insurance, therapy, and medications to stay sane, should sacrifice stability and risk all the consequences that come with that to…make a point? also, i work an “easy” job (whatever that means) now after leaving my full-time position due to a mental health crisis and searching for employment for over a year, and i don’t even make close to a livable wage. i wish i could be fully independent again too, but at the risk of my safety? absolutely not. it’s a privilege i don’t take lightly. 

she’d go on and on about how young newcomers like myself don’t know a damn thing and how much better “old school” aa was. this was so hypocritical because we met in an online aa meeting for women of color and were allowed to discuss “outside issues” like racism and misogyny. why is change so bad? clearly, we were both benefiting from it. 

i don’t want to be anything like her at her age. she didn’t have any close family members and would gossip about the other older aa women with me, a 20-something-year-old. it’s just depressing. 

i made a few decent friends in aa (literally two people i still talk to)

but looking back i was having my head filled with shitty ideas put in it by honestly shitty people who pretty much were just dicks to me

i like being sober, i chose to be sober because its what i wanted to do.

but yeah looking back after being out of aa for a year and a half and not drinking for 6 years, i regret spending so much time with awful people. obviously youll get "resentments" in there.

id like to move on completely someday from even thinking about it, but it feels unresolved,
no one has ever validated my opinions that aa sucks. its such an alone opinion. theres nobody at all i can talk to about the fact i dont like aa. i make youtube vlogs that get zero views. its just an opinion no one cares about or wants to hear

i have a great relationship with someone who doesnt like to hear me trashing aa because her dad is a really bad alcoholic, with an actual narcissism type personality disorder, she would kill for him to do something like go to aa. she shuts me down instantly once i mention or process something about aa, fair enough shes a great partner i can live with her not wanting me to talk about that topic(she said it is too depressing to hear that the only option for peer support is a cult from me)

my uncles a clinical nurse in psychiatric setting, not religious and hes california sober, and he basically told me that saying aa is a cult is an extreme and unbalanced opinion

so i dont know i just wake up at 5am remembering something some aa asshole i spent a lot of time with said to me to get under my skin in there and i dont really know how to get over it. clearly doing inventory over the same people over and over again never did anything otherwise id still be in aa lol.

my point of view on my sobriety(your mileage will vary here) is it is simply doing anything other than drinking or using, and luckily for anyone with a drug problem, this world is FULL of things to do that do not require doing drugs or drinking.

the key is to just be okay not doing something that is essentially self harm despite whatever your mind makes up, then the addiction part of the brain atrophies, and the part engaged in productive activities grows.

i personally wouldnt want to open up the ten lane katy houston i-10 freeway to drug abuse by smoking a little weed or drinking after going without a few years, and its so much simpler without it... so fear mongering about relapse isnt helpful to me

I’ve been struggling for years, my spouse and I enable each others drinking and I’ve been having a hard time staying sober because of that. I’ll be good for weeks and often go full months without drinking- I’m constantly working on my sobriety, but I keep having slips are always binge drinking behavior. My brain lies to me and I think I can have 1 and fall for the lie over and over again. I know 1st drink always leads to shame, regret, I has a child I should want to quit for, my healthy, my family… but I keep falling for the lies and I don’t know why I can’t stop. What made yall finally stop? I’m starting therapy and I’m trying to get an Antabuse prescription. Doing 2 things differently.

I've had OCD for a long time and was on benzodiazepines for years. In 2025, I was taken off them way too quickly, and since then things have been terrible. I don't take them anymore but am still getting long-term withdrawals. Medications that I used to tolerate now seem to cause actual physical pain, especially headaches and pain or burning in my eyes. Gabapentin, for example, never used to hurt my eyes or cause these problems, but now it does.

I've been to rehab and I've tried AA, but AA was an absolute joke for me and didn't address what I'm actually dealing with. I can't afford expensive treatment programs, and I genuinely don't know where to turn. This isn't just anxiety or OCD anymore—the headaches, eye pain, and other physical reactions I experience with medications since coming off benzos have become a major part of the problem.

The combination of OCD, anxiety, and physical pain can become unbearable and make me feel absolutely fucking suicidal and hate my life, although I'm not planning to hurt myself or do anything. This shit is miserable though!

is there alternative perspectives, I don’t want to think of myself as diseased. The research suggests at 5 years of sustained sobriety we have the same risk as the general population regarding developing a problem with substances

I know this isn’t allowed in that other sub, so mods please delete if it’s not allowed here either.

Anyway, I’ve been on Ozempic for a few months now (for other health issues), and I’ve been sober for 11 weeks, longer than at any other time in my adult life. I haven’t been dealing with the compulsive thoughts like in the past to pick up a drink, and that’s the only thing that’s changed from previous attempts to stop drinking.

I can’t say for sure that this is due entirely to the medication, but it’s a hell of a correlation. Anybody else on a GLP-1 agonist experience the same or similar?

Hi everyone!

I’ve never posted here before, but I’ve been in recovery since 2020. I was prescribed Suboxone in rehab in July 2020. I tapered from 12mg to 8mg within the first couple of months. I then stayed on 8 mg for several years before tapering down to 4mg, then 2 mg for the past 2 years. However I still felt fatigued almost every day with low motivation, anhedonia, and other unpleasant symptoms that I generally attribute to the subs.

I want my life and personality back, so I finally started the process to get completely off of subs ~30 days ago. It’s been absolute hell. I jumped off from 2 mg and the withdrawal symptoms were intense for the first week. A few times during the 30 days I’ve taken a small dose (<0.25mg) to help alleviate some of the worst withdrawal symptoms but as of a week ago, I haven’t taken any subs and most symptoms have subsided except for insomnia, restless legs and some occasional stomach upset as well as low mood. Which brings me to the point of my post: I haven’t slept more than ~2 hours in 4 days despite trying warm baths (to alleviate restless legs), some light exercise, CBD and THC gummies, melatonin, hydroxyzine, gabapentin.

Does anyone have any advice for dealing with insomnia post-opioid cessation?

I’m fortunate to be in a position where I can take this time off of work and not have many responsibilities, but I’m feeling very depressed and not being able to sleep is making everything feel worse.

Thank you in advance for reading ♥️

i’m having a really hard time finding support groups for myself. i can’t afford a therapist and i liked the community aspect of meetings at AA but the religious aspect makes me so uncomfortable. i try to sort on the apps but you can’t sort where you can exclude stuff and i just can’t seem to find anything. i really don’t wanna do online with zoom because it’s so impersonal and i want to connect with people but i don’t want to be trapped in a room with people telling me to find a higher power and quit smoking weed to be happy when that’s bullshit and i just want a place where i can talk about what’s going on with me to get some peace of mind. i just want fucking people to talk to without being trapped in a religious bubble and i dont wanna talk to a fucking computer! and if you could explain why you like the alternative that you recommend that would be great because i really need help

Recovery without AA but explicitly as the title explains? I saw a dumb post about “can recovery people work from home” and we all see the countless oh/subs posts. I know bots are farming up on Reddit but maybe we can find a way to expel this kind of thing?

Do we need mods or new sub rules? I’ll volunteer. I’m sick of this sub getting overrun with nonsense

https://preview.redd.it/l08my1lf16kh1.png?width=677&format=png&auto=webp&s=2aaeaa23eaa4812adb42645166f4454c69283c06

hell yeah! :D

I’ve been out since Easter. I was in hardcore for 4 years.
I generally feel SO much better; less shame, less guilt, more time for myself and the things I find joy in.

I have a new neighbor who is in the program, sober 3 years. We walk our dogs together. He doesn’t push me to go to meetings but he says things like “fit spiritual condition” and “wear life like a loose garment”. Today he said the title of this post.

At the time, I was like yeah maybe I could go to a meeting or two and help a newcomer but now, a few hours later, I’m like, I am not obligated to help anyone else. But then I start to spiral into calling myself selfish and isn’t that the root of all my problems.

Please help me. Am I validated in not being obligated?
I feel guilty.

If you haven’t been watching the news Meta has some serious lawsuits. Trials started today.

Prosecutors and plaintiffs argue Meta intentionally engineered addictive features on Instagram and Facebook (like infinite scroll, push notifications, and algorithmic recommendations) to maximize screen time, fully aware that these mechanics contribute to severe mental health issues, depression, body dysmorphia, and exposure to child exploitation. 

Maybe the plaintiffs should work a 12 step program.

I’m saying this facetiously but why is it all these other addictive substances/platforms, social media, nicotine, etc are seen as that, a highly addictive substance cleverly marketplaces to the masses. Therefore brought before the courts, and rightfully so.

Yet alcohol, an addictive drug, by AA logic is character flaw. All YOUR fault. Why is that? Why do we treat all other addictions differently.

I'm doing some research into life after addiction/recovery, and I'm particularly interested in something that doesn't seem to get talked about as much:

What happens after the immediate crisis is over?

You get sober. You stop using. You get through treatment. Things get more stable.

But then what?

How do you build a life that actually feels meaningful?

I'm interested in hearing from people who have been sober/clean for a while and have experienced the transition from simply staying sober to actually building a life they enjoy.

A few questions I'm curious about:

• What was the hardest part of life after getting sober?

• Did you struggle with boredom, lack of structure, loneliness or lack of purpose?

• What helped you start building a new identity or lifestyle?

• Did exercise, sport, work, hobbies, travel or community play a role?

• What do you wish you'd had when you were further along in your recovery?

I'm not offering treatment or trying to sell anything. I'm simply trying to understand people's experiences because I think there's an interesting gap between getting sober and building a life you genuinely want to live.

If you'd rather answer privately, I'm happy to have a short conversation as well.

For people who are in recovery from substance use or other addictions, do you think working from home should be considered a reasonable option, especially during the early stages of recovery?

I’m curious what people in recovery think based on their own experiences:

Has working from home helped or hurt your recovery?

Do you find an office environment provides useful structure and accountability?

Would hybrid work be a better compromise?

Should employers be more understanding about remote work as part of someone’s recovery plan?

I’d especially like to hear from people who have actually experienced recovery while working remotely.

Currently 10 years off dope/fent with the help of Suboxone and now the Sublocade shot. I am on other psych meds but I was recently prescribed gabapentin for anxiety and well it made me feel awesome gave me unending energy and melted my anxiety away. Obviously went through the script too early and now I’m just pissed at myself and ashamed. I’m not too worried about going through withdrawal of any kind but I HATE THAT I have that feeling back in my life, messing with something that’s addictive. I’m so fucking stupid and don’t know if I have the strength to tell my doctor to stop prescribing it. I’m on adhd meds and benzos but my husband keeps them in a safe and dispenses them to me daily. Maybe I could do the same with the gaba? It only makes you feel good when you take too much obviously so I’m curious if that would be a solution. I hate that my mind is fixated on a substance, again. I knew I was messing with fire and did it anyway. Please don’t judge me if you’re going to respond.