A bit of a rant
I dont like to vent or express myself like this. Especially not online however I really need someone wiser then me to "knock some sense into me "
Ive been following Christ since the start of 2024 have been a Christian in secret in a muslim household since then, i try to come to church whenever possible and still do however not so long ago so much has happened. I wouldn't wanna go into deep detail but i lost a beloved person, struggle heavily with school and substances. Im a horrible sinner and I cry almost every prayer when talking to God since I truly have no one else im almost fully alone and the thought of committing suicide has crossed my mind more then once. When younger i was molested by a family member which always made me struggle with my body and self harm and substances were always a point of this struggle too and truly its a thin line between trying to live, at least for God and cutting the gift he gave me short.
Im not asking for pity, I truly want to just hear anyones advice, a bible verse or quote from a saint since i truly dont know how long until I can convince myself to stay.
May God bless however is reading this and heal the battles they dont speak of.