Been in an open relationship for over a year, boyfriend decides to drop a bomb on me just now.
I’m [M25] in an open relationship (long distance) of 1 1/2 years and just a few days ago my boyfriend [M28] had the idea of telling me that all this time his idea of an open relationship also included cuddling, after-care, emotionally connecting with the people he hooks up with, and basically going on dates. I didn’t know about this even though clarity has been an issue in our relationship since the very beginning and I have always tried to be as clear as as I can and to get as much clarity as I can from him (I often need to fight to get the truth and clarity out of him). I guess I keep learning new things every six months or so that just make me question everything every single time and now it feels like everything ended for me and it was forced to start over and I was just not ready for any of this.
We had previously talked about the limits in the relationship. We specifically said that regarding hookups, there weren't any limits, but it was only limited to hookups. And the idea was to hopefully be together one day and do things together and involve other people together. But we specifically talked about hookups. We avoided dates at all costs. And I just found out that it's in his idea and his plan to go on dates and to connect with the people he is already being physically vulnerable with.
Would love to talk to someone about this or just hear any opinions.