Hi. Could use some perspective or suggestions. I'm 50 and live eastern PA. I also have a disability myself and have to bring some respiratory medical equipment with me. So packing even for a short trip is always an involved process. My parents, my sister and her husband and kids live 5 hours west of us in northwestern PA. My parents are aging and past the point of being able to drive out to visit us plus they're on fixed income and their vehicle probably isn't reliable enough for that trip even if they could make it. 'm finding it harder and harder ever year to take PTO and go out to visit them. I only see them about once a year but they live in a small town that literally has nothing to do. My dad is a grumpy old man and has sleep issues so he's often up in the middle of the night and from lack of sleep he gets irritable and short tempered with people. My Mom is a saint and I do miss her. I generally have a good relationship with them both.
Their spare bed is uncomfortable. In summer the house gets hot and they have no AC units. They don't guilt me for not visiting but I feel like I have this obligation to go see them since they're getting older and I don't know how long they'll be around. My mom will be 80 this year and my dad will be 87. They still get around but there's not much we can do with them anymore as they're not as active as they used to be. So it leads to just a lot of time spent at their house which feels like a waste of vacation time to me. I work remotely so I'm home all the time. On vacation I want to be outside of the house as much as possible. I grew up in their town and if i had friends there or old classmates that wanted to get together it would be more motivating to go but that's not the case. I don't know whether to just tell them we can't make it out anymore. Shorter trips are even more exhausting because it's 250 miles one way which is just too far for a weekend trip. I'm to the point where I have no desire to use up a week of PTO and make the drive just to sit around at their house most of the time. What would you do?