I (20 female) have a brother (22 male) who turns 23 in a few months. I should start this off by saying I have never been on reddit and I only know this website exists because of my friend. She said listening to others' thoughts on it might really help me out with my brother.
Growing up, I have always taken care of my brother. He is a big gamer, so sometimes John would forget to eat breakfast and lunch. I would make him food and bring it to him to make sure he was eating. I would always tell my parents to buy specific foods at the store I knew he liked, so he would be more likely to eat it.
We aren’t kids anymore. I am a junior in college getting a degree in theatre arts and a minor in Philosophy. I work a part time job and I live at home. I got back this January from working an internship in a different state after my freshman year. My brother dropped out of a one step down from an ivy league University, was fired a few months back from an arcade he worked at for three years for gaming multiple times on the job and he just left his job as a pizza delivery driver because they were making him drive too much. He is now unemployed and he basically lives at his boyfriend's parents house.
I am making this post because it is coming to a head. Next weekend is mothers day weekend and my mother is actually begging my brother to go to the movies and go out to eat for mothers day. He said he can’t because he will be busy with a Pokemon convention that day, so he might not be able to make it. This is where I come in. My role as younger sister is to call and text him begging to just come to mothers day. I always say that I will pick out and pay for the gift from him and that he just needs to be there. He always says no and then I have to say that I will send him a gift card to buy lunch and he says to just give him cash the next time I see him. I have decided that I won’t. I’m not going to beg my brother to be a part of this family. He puts a lot of stress on all of us and if I am going to grow into a person who doesn’t let others walk all over me then I need to start now.
My father actually said that he is proud of me for speaking up to them when my mother asked if I texted John yet. He’s not going to beg for his son to support this family and he agrees with me. My mom is having a hard time realizing how little my brother has done throughout the years and how I have always done everything for him. They both knew, but I really just admitted everything tonight on the couch and my dad said they want my brother to go to counseling. My mom is still calling him and he won’t answer. She still wants me to just talk to him, but I'm not budging. So am I wrong for speaking my mind after years of holding it in?