I just need to write this out to help me think through my somewhat confusing friendship with someone. This has been a 10-year friendship with someone I would have called one of my close friends, however over the last 7 years or so the friendship has become more and more one-sided (me) and extractive (her). I call her or text her first 99% of the time; when she responds she is super warm and we have good conversations but she never initiates a call or a meet-up. Our conversations are now mostly her asking me for advice on everything from work to life (I also used to ask her for some work advice, but not any more).
When she got pregnant, she kind of insinuated that she would be inheriting all of my kids' stuff when I never made such an offer. When I did give her a bunch of baby gear (I'm talking stroller, car seat, blankets, lots of stuff), I brought it to her a long way from my house, and when I met her she basically said a quick hello, a nice thanks, but then said she had to rush off somewhere and did not indicate that she wanted to catch up further at any time. This was after 3-4 months of not having caught up with each other. I think she noticed that I was getting pissed off about this because she asked me if everything was ok afterwards but I didn't get into it because I don't think this is worth a confrontation.
She has a lot of problems - divorce, work issues. I listen to her problems and try to guide and support her as best I can. I feel like she kind of assumes everything is going great with me. Meanwhile I recently lost my job (she knows this) and could really use someone to confide in, but she has not checked on me once in 8 months beyond asking about my work status when I messaged her first. When I met her to hand her all this large amount of baby stuff, she mentioned she was going to a networking event, and that she was having a baby shower, and did not invite me to either when I could have definitely liked to go to both, nor express interest in setting up a time for us to catch up more. By the way when I was raising my kids, she never expressed interest in learning anything about them or getting to know them, and I was so surprised that she wanted to have kids of her own.
She recently got married, and I helped her the most with the prep - getting her food the night before, staying late and then running errands the next morning to help her get ready, then taking photos during the wedding. It really took me back to 9 years ago, when it was time for my own wedding, and she had promised to help me get ready and help with my hair - but then called me the morning of the wedding saying she was feeling a bit ill and going to be late to the wedding instead. We had a falling out then, and she apologised, but it looks like it's stayed the same way, and it's now just another memory of the one-sidedness of this friendship.
I think I need to try less. It's really sad, especially when I don't have many friends in the area. But this one does not seem worth investing in a lot more, nor escalating much. I'm just grieving something I poured probably way too much into.