u/BradBradley1

Look alive, shoppers

$109 in the sky, but these deals won't quit

You're here with me, Dr. Debt-Defying

I'll sell you licensed pencils, I’ll sell you licensed pants

Gimme a month or two and I’ll sell you licensed potted plants

Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic savings to keep your FOMO alive

A subscription failure for the masses

Branded anti-matter for Target’s 2026 holiday shopping plan

Louder than God's cash register and twice as shiny

This one's for all of you rock'n'roll vinyl collectors

All you cash queens and trust fund babies

Listen up

The future is 15% off with free shipping on orders over $100

Your credit card statement is secondary

It’s time to buy it now and flaunt it proud

Killjoys, sell some noise!