Wife is not happy about my choice when it comes to my inevitable funeral and I don't really know why it's a big deal.
Alright I'll set the stage for you.
Mother's day, at the cemetery where my wife's mom and grandmother are buried. This is still a fresh wound for my wife (32), as her mom passed away last year in August. I knew it was going to be a rough day for her and my FIL.
They do their thing, clean off her gravestone, say a prayer, they share stories, shed a couple of tears, and head over to do the same for my wife's grandmother.
On the way back to the truck to head home, my wife asks me were I'd want to be buried, so i tell her what I've always told her. "I want to be cremated, and scattered at all my favorite places, and then at the end, throw a big ass party together and have fun and remember the good stuff. I'm not going to do sad things, that's not how I live(d) my life. Keep it simple and easy."
She cocked her head to side and with confusion in her voice asked me "wait, you were serious about that?" I said, Of course I am. I don't want the last thing people see of me to be my dead body. That's not how I'm gonna be remembered. I want to be remembered for the fun and laughs I gave to people. It's gonna be a sad affair, but it's also hard to be sad at a party. Especially if tequila and bourbon are involved lol.
(I'd also take a viking funeral as well, but since that's a lot less likely and not easy to pull off, it's at the bottom of the list right by "standard" funeral. lol)
All she said was "Oh.." and after a brief pause, I asked if she thought I was just being funny when I said that, and she said "yeah..." she then asked, if I'd ever consider being buried next to her since she's not going to be cremated, and I told her that "My ashes are yours to do with once the list is complete, I'm not saying I can't be placed in a locket around your neck with it close to your heart or in some type of receptacle either attached to the gravestone or with you in the casket. I didn't say I couldn't be buried with you. I also didn't say you had to scatter all my ashes either.
Truth be told, I'm 34. I of course can't predict the future (though if you do, and you have the power ball numbers, hook a homie up. lol), and I very well could die tomorrow, but just for conversation sake, i'm going to be around a lot longer. I'm in no way thinking about that in the slightest, but I am sure about being cremated, scattered at my favorite places, and there being a big ass party. I'll figure the rest out later.
My guess is she wanted me to not be cremated and to be buried next to her in the same plot, which is fine, and I completely get the sentiment. I just like the idea that my ashes will be in places I felt free, and at peace, and all of these places were with her, the one I love most dearly. However, a part of my wonders if it's the cremation part or if she wanted my body intact for something else. I have no real idea or evidence to suggest what that could be. I'm not saying my wife would do this or go against my final wishes, but I also can't read minds, so who knows what's going on up in her head.
Why do you think my wife doesn't want me to go through my plan? I think it's a plan that works for everyone. It makes perfect sense.