r/exmormon

My grandparents have been active participants for over 50 years. They tithed, they stood up for every inane 'calling' given to them despite poor matching of skills. They attend temple, church and every other obligation placed on them.

They're getting up in years and have admitted they have no friends. No one checks in on them. I dont expect wards to necessarily stand up and take over the care of their elderly members but wtf, theyve been completely isolated.

I live across the world, their closest family members are hours away by flight so it's getting harder to adjust. I think I'm just so sad at how much they gave to the church over the years with so little in the way of community support. As a family we are gathering means and methods of support, but I have some rage against the church that has failed them so profoundly.

I know that the LDS church's sabbath is Sunday and most of the day is spent in church and then in study. If you're not supposed to work on Sunday, why is it frowned upon to even go out to eat? Can't a day of rest include going for ice cream? What is the logic behind this and not spending money on Sundays?

We see lots of women leaving over politics, purity culture and powerlessness/patriarchy.

What do we expect will be the effect on the LDS church?

I was thinking about how I came to realize that the church’s narrative was so full of holes that over time, it went from solid to gossamer until eventually it became quite transparent. Kind of like a volleyball net.

Now, however, I’m having trouble even seeing the net at all, and I’m wondering if my pendulum has just swung too far in the opposite direction with regard to my own biases.

What are some things that the church teaches that are actually and completely true with no extra spin or narrative?

I’m literally having trouble thinking of any.

When I left over 10 years ago, I tried to sit down and talk to my parents about things. It was bad. Really bad.

For a while, things were really uncomfortable among us but eventually we found a new groove. I felt like I had to be the bigger person. They talk about church stuff in front of me but I never mention anything I believe. It sucks but I figure they are the ones stuck in a cult.

Only lately mom has been taking it to a new level. It used to be that they basically talked like I was a non-member and that was fine. But now mom has been making comments directly to me that you only make to other members, like how at least the teenager that drowned had joined the church first and how the next-door neighbors are "nice but want nothing to do with the church."

I usually don't respond and just change the subject but mom is not getting the hint. I'm afraid to talk to her directly because of how badly she and my dad reacted when I first talked to them (dad's gone now, fyi). Not to mention, I know how it would crush her for me to shut her down and I have a hard time doing that to her.

At the same time, I've tried to make it more comfortable to talk about things I know she disapproves of, like mentioning that I'm going to grab a cup of coffee. But when I say stuff like that she ignores it and acts like I haven't said anything.

I don't know, maybe I should start talking about coffee every time she starts talking about the church. I feel like it's that or watch my mom melt down like a toddler who's been denied ice cream if I try to have an honest conversation with her.

Anyway, just venting here. Thanks for listening.

Jesus being baptized to fulfill all righteousness even though he had no sin and didn't need it is STILL their theological position but they're all over the map with Jesus being sealed to wife/wives...?

Which one of you was it?

For those following Grand Blanc and my story in it, the new stake center ground breaking has been announced. The shooting and burning of the church took place September 28th, 2025, and the ground breaking is… September 28th, 2026. It has limited attendance available (500 tickets), and it has been made very clear that this not a memorial, just a ground breaking. The memorial is the 27th for just the Grand Blanc Ward (it is not clear if those of us who lost people in the ward are invited). I have thoughts, but I want to hear yours.

I messaged the church regarding this as I had, not long ago, noticed he’d moved into the 70.

I had reported the incident to my Stake President and sent paperwork to the church regarding the attack. I was young, with a new wife and a newborn, I didn’t stay on the local leadership like I should have.

However, I found out recently that the Stake President never took me seriously. I moved out of the Stake and life went on.

On his side he became the next Stake President for a couple years before becoming a Mission President.

When I saw he was in the 70 I brought my issue back to light with the church. I still had the paperwork they “filed”. But, at the Stake side, there was no report to find(odd), the PR that was given to them disappeared. So I copied the church paperwork I had and NDA’d it to them. They’ve gone absolutely radio silent. I kind of fully expected this. But it’s a dick move in the church’s part.

He, my former bishop, has a law degree from ASU and I have one from Stanford. I’d hate to get litigious, but, I am seeking advice from others who may have left the church over the same reason. Or just advice in general.

Hi All,

I am a long time lurker - thank you all for your posts and comments. I learn so much from all of you and I am sorry that everyone has had to go through so many harmful experiences.

I (single 30M) was born and raised in the church - for most of my life the church was a massive blessing and joy. I love my community, the mentors I had as a youth, and the positive social life the church provided. I unfortunately had a really unhealthy, negative experience with a YSA bishop who harmed my health and belief in the church. My testimony had started to weaken after my mission, but I was able to hold my shelf together due to the church being such a positive experience within my life. However, once it started to be a negative, harmful experience - that was the last straw and ultimately broke the remaining shelf I had left.

I am now thinking about leaving the church, but I honestly deal with so much fear (what if it is true, losing support, etc.). But part of me wonders if I should be grateful, because I am able to leave as young as I am, but I still really struggle.

Could I ask you all - how is your life after having left? Are you grateful that you did?

I've talked about it extensively here but I'm curious what was said and would love to talk further about it if there is interest