u/Bradsters001

I’m in a stuck position, I run the 110H and last year I ran a PR of 15.34 (Junior Year) this is about 4 and half months ago from now and I have improved significantly. I fell in love with the weightroom and even just recently got a hurdles coach. If I ran an FAT I’m positive my time would go down a decent bit. But that’s the problem there is no FAT in the fall so I feel like I’m just stuck waiting for the winter season which I’m positive I’ll run a very good time for the 55H. I know I’m gonna hit the marks that the recruiters want me to hit, but I feel like it’s gonna be too late when I do in the winter/spring. Any advice?

Some Metrics I have
\- 36in vert
\- 315 Squat
\- 6.6 60 (Hand)
\- 150 BW

I’m 5’11 153 and I want to bulk but idk how much to where it wouldn’t effect my sprinting and only better it. I struggle with top end speed a lot but my acceleration has always been pretty good. I was just wondering what weight I should bulk to and how fast.

My main events are LJ and 110H

(I’m sorry for the blurb of text there’s many emotions that go into this)

I have been obsessed with this girl since freshman year and I am now a senior. Ever since freshman year I was obsessed with her, we were both in a similar friend group so it was impossible to not see her. Long story short we would hook up from time to time but she never wanted a relationship with me, she was never known as a relationship type of girl not in an bad way just she couldn’t keep one and she’s never been in one. Time after time I would try my hardest to try and be something with her and actually one of my bsf got with her and then started talking to her but that only lasted a month or two. Anyways I still was in love with this girl, I still adored her and eventually new years time of sophomore year we started talking and this was the highlight of my year, she was still hard to get when we were talking but eventually we started dating and I mean it was awesome just every little puppy love story you can imagine.

We started dating in march and fast forward to mid july this is where everything went plummeting, she went on a cruise and like didn’t talk to me , didn’t let me know she was out til 3am some nights and one of these nights of the Cruise I was at a party and my friends were just busting my balls and saying she’s doing stuff on the cruise and we were trying to get a ride home from the party and all cramming in this car and for a split second I told this girl she could lap it with me and she did and then immediately I got out but she knew about that and we continued to argue practically every single day for the next two months until I eventually broke up with her over text (don’t ever do) down the shore. I actually got with a girl the next morning for about 30 seconds and than just stopped but it was a big secret until later my friend told her accidentally. So like 3 weeks go by and then her friends are practically crying to me saying she didn’t know what she did wrong and all of this but I mean also here’s a good spot to say that she was an awful girlfriend and I am in no way saying I was a good boyfriend but she made it hard sometimes.

My parents didn’t even really like her she was just so immature in every aspect like she couldn’t communicate wouldn’t even talk to my parents, etc etc stuff like that. But so I see her at a hangout about a month after our breakup and this is the first time seeing her since the breakup, and all the emotions kinda come crawling back so I texted her basically and she’s like “we can talk at this party next time I see you” so we’re both drinking and having a great time and we end up talking and this feels like it’s straight out of a movie scene we are making our whole car ride home and we had a great conversation so you think things would be good by now but next party we aren’t together but we’re kinda just there I go into the woods with this girl to help her throw up and we don’t do anything but this story gets out and this very moment is when I’d say she starts her arc, she was furious and immediately after I find her from coming back she was trying to gw someone else to I guess “fill the void” but so now the balls in her court and she’s tired of “trusting” me not to hurt her time and time again which is reasonable so than we do the same thing she’s like we can talk at the next party and then she starts drinking and she basically is like screw you and then gets with this other dude, so happens to be that we were sleeping over the same house and we had a conversation and then we ended up having sex same night. But after that it was basically me begging for her to come back and her kinda just shoving it in my face and this happened for like 2 weeks cause there was constant parties, now there’s no more parties and she talks to me and says I think I want to try again. Basically to fill an emptiness.

So we actually end up dating for two months and it’s just the same relatively but nothing like the puppy love like we never gave each other enough time to heal. So she breaks up with me and quite frankly I didn’t care until she starts going on a total rampage like she gained like 3 bodies in a span of 2 months and got with so many people but I mean I also got with a few people so it’s not like it was totally one sided but she actually “for a challenge” gw 2 of my best friends for like 5 seconds and this enraged me but anyways it’s been about 4ish months since the breakup and I still miss her everyday, the problem is that I see her at every party and it’s like me and her still have a connection that you can’t by pass. Recently me and her have been really connecting like we’ve been following and liking each others posts, she added me on a social media platform that we had each other unadded on, she reposted videos about me and all this. Stuff like that.

She’s in escapable but the past month we’ve probably talked every weekend and there just pointless but meaningful conversations. Last week she came over my house in a group of people to swim and I drove her around with a friend and I could just feel the love inside her come back and just yesterday we told each other we were Both a text away. I don’t know what to do and how to go about this

TL:DR - I non stop see my ex and don’t know if I should just accept this or try and be with her