I am currently in the process of getting an Autism diagnosis and looking at AuDHD as plausible too.
I (28/F) and my boyfriend(27/M) of 8 years have been getting into the same argument or well disagreement. He has ADHD and as I am still getting used to the thought that I am most likely autistic. So I’ll tell or show him something I’ve related too with my research into autism and he will always go
“Yeah I see it, but remember it’s a venn diagram”
And yeah that is correct and I understand that. But I have told him time and time that sometimes I just want to hear the ‘Yeah I see it’ because either due to my neurodivergence or my CPTSD- by using “Yeah I see it, but..” The ‘but’ immediately makes it feel conditional or like a ‘don’t make a big deal about it’.
I must state he doesn’t mean it in either of those two ways and reassures me that it was just him adding that to help expectations so I don’t spiral due to my CPTSD.
But every-time I ask or tell him ‘Sometimes just hearing the yes or no is all I need’ he struggles as he views that as me trying to dictate his speech- which he also knows after the fact that is not what I’m trying to do. It feels like just a butting heads moment no animosity
We’re both spicy brained and I want to figure out how to work past this and sometimes it’s asking if what I’m asking is realistic or something I need to make less triggering.