Meeting my ex tomorrow after 1.5 months. I stopped playing text games, maintained my frame, and I'm proposing a "no-pressure" fresh start. Wish me luck.
Hey everyone. I need to vent a bit and maybe get some last-minute advice because my brain is doing backflips right now.
We started texting a bit today. She was throwing out classic breadcrumbs and "shit tests" (telling me she misses the dog park near my place, getting jealous/curious about who I was hanging out with, acting passive-aggressive when I didn't feed into her drama).
Normally, I would panic, try to explain myself, and beg for her attention. Not today. I held my frame. I gave her short, polite answers, told her I was busy with work and going to the gym, and literally ended conversations first.
Eventually, I got so sick of the tactical texting and the mind games. I decided to drop the bullshit. I basically said, "I'm tired of these vague text games. Let's just grab a coffee tomorrow at 3 PM and talk face-to-face." She tried to give some weak excuses ("I don't like sudden plans," "What are we going to talk about?"), but I stayed firm, didn't back down, and she agreed.
The Plan for Tomorrow:
I am bringing flowers and chocolate. But I am NOT begging for her to come back.
My plan is to sit her down, buy her a coffee, look her in the eyes, and offer a completely new dynamic. I'm going to tell her: "I don't want to go back to our old toxic relationship, but I don't want to throw our connection away either. Let's keep our separate apartments. Let's just date. No pressure, no labels, no heavy relationship drama. Let's just see if we still enjoy each other's company. If we do, great. If not, we walk away for good."
I'm terrified of messing this up or losing my cool, but I know this is the only logical way forward. If she says no, I walk away knowing I tried like a man and finally get closure. If she says yes, we start over on healthier terms.
Has anyone tried this "dating your ex while living apart" approach? Any tips on how to keep my anxiety in check tomorrow and not come off as needy? I need all the good vibes I can get.