I think I may be leaving the church.
Posting from an alt account because irl friends know my main.
The Church has been such an important and major part of my life for 12 years. When I left my extremely abusive family, my friends at the Church were the first to tell me they’re my real family, and I always believed them.
But, last year I got really depressed and anxious. My priest kept telling me to keep praying because this is a normal part of the faith.
I didn’t really feel supported or helped. Just “keep going! This is how it works, sometimes God withdraws so we can be tested!”
When I finally opened up about how dark things had gotten for me most of my “real family” showed up for me in any way, either. They all said “omg I didn’t know how bad things were! Of course, I’ll text ya from time to time to make sure you’re doing fine and since it’s summer we’ll hang out and I’ll I’ll be there so you don’t have to be alone.” I’m not exaggerating when I say they haven’t followed up once.
The whole experience has made me feel like the Church really does not care about me in the slightest and the people who claim to be your family there don’t either.
So I started going elsewhere. And made non-religious friends. And guess what? They’ve actually shown up without me having to even ask. I’ve seen better Christians in my atheist friends than my “church family”
Then to top it all off, my confessor “reminded” me that the church is more important than the gym and if I keep prioritizing it over extra church services, volunteering, and attending church I’m being selfish. The gym is the only reason I feel happy and not suicidal anymore, and after I said that he said that’s demonic and why we shouldn’t participate in the gym culture.