It’s been 2.5 years since my ex dropped the bomb that she wanted a divorce. 2 years since I learned of the cheating. 1.5 years since I uncovered a lot more of the details.
I’ve been in therapy, I’m on antidepressants, I’m working with a psychiatrist to dial in my meds, I’ve cut back drinking and been exercising more, I’m doing all the things.
I am still consistently having horrific nightmares about my ex and waking up many times a night drenched in sweat. I’m starting to get anxiety about going to bed.
During the day I’m doing so much better than I was. I’m doing great at a new job, I’m the best dad I’ve ever been. My day to day is still super hard being a single dad trying to rebuild my life but I’m not as hysterically sad as I was a year ago.
But at night.. if anything it’s getting worse. I still can’t comprehend how someone I loved could do this to anyone else, let alone me.
She hurt me so deeply that I don’t think I will ever recover. I wish I’d never met her.