I wanna start by saying I’m not a writer so please forgive any mistakes.
Today my girlfriend asked me how I would feel if she flew out to one of her guy friends. My first response was “no, I’d just feel uncomfortable with that”. She then kept pushing for it and my answer remained the same. Eventually she just told me that I have no trust in her and never did. I’ll be honest the trust has been rough from time to time.
She has shown me texts of another guy friend she had and it was very disrespectful towards our relationship. He made comments about his penis in a “joking” manner. She for the most part didn’t engage too much but also didn’t shut it down. She made comments about her curves when he was jokingly calling her flat and also talked about her frustrations with our sex life with him.
We’ve somewhat moved past it but I still get a bad feeling in my stomach anytime she meets a new guy friend or I notice she’s texting one of her guy friends she met before me.
Anyway, that’s some context for you guys. I tried explaining to her that trust wasn’t the issue but that it’s just not something I’m comfortable with personally. Even if we never had our past issues together I don’t think I would happily send my girlfriend off on a plane to meet a guy she’s only spoken to over the internet.
But it wasn’t getting to her at all. So I even asked if I could come with but ofc she said no and that some people don’t wanna meet their friends with their partner around too. I told her if he had an issue with your boyfriend that you would have been with for a year when the time comes then he either had other intentions or no respect for our relationship.
Pretty soon after that the conversation ended and later on she texted me that she felt nothing between us throughout some portions of the day. For more context. We have been fighting a lot more than we used to recently, sometimes almost resulting in a break up. Anyway I obviously felt hurt by that and tried to reassure her that I love her even when she says things like that to me. I eventually just told her that if this trip is a real thing and is gonna happen then she can go but I won’t be comfortable or happy about it.
I don’t really know what to do or how to feel because some parts of me are saying that I’m wrong for saying no in the first place but other parts are telling me that I shouldn’t have said yes and stayed to the boundary I set with her.
I don’t wanna break up with her, so what should I do?