This woman was my world. I have never loved so deeply or cared so much for someone. The pain right now feels like a thousand tons crushing down on me.
Around two months ago, she expressed to me that she had been unhappy with our relationship. All of the phrases came out of the woodwork: “We lost the spark,” “It’s me, not you,” “You deserve better,” “We feel like roommates.”
Admittedly, this past year has been extremely hard both physically and mentally due to health issues. This definitely did impact my availability, and I could have been more attentive. I didn’t do my normal check-ins as frequently, etc.
So I started to dig deeper and asked if this was repairable and if she’d be willing to work with me. She agreed to one counseling session, which she said was useless. Over the next month, I continued to try, only to be looked at as if I was a ghost in the room. Zero affection — no kissing or hugging — but she still wanted sex.
Fast forward two months, and I could no longer endure the pain of limbo. I asked for actions to rebuild the relationship, or I would have to start making future arrangements. This was after she had already threatened separation twice. She literally just replied, “ok.” That was it — nothing more, nothing less.
She then said she was going to file for divorce the next day. Later, she texted me saying she sat in her car for hours and couldn’t go through with it. She said she just needed some “time to clear her head.” She went to her sister’s for four days and requested no contact. She said we would talk more when she returned.
I respected her wishes. She came home today for nothing but five minutes, and we had a very small talk. All the same things again: “This isn’t going to work,” “I still love you, but I can’t stay,” “I wanted flowers, love letters, and more romance, but you're not that person”
She then left right back to her sister’s and said she can’t be in the house with me right now. I’ve never felt so destroyed, so broken, and so in pain. My nervous system wants to text her constantly, and everything in me wishes she had just given it a chance. I don’t even know where to start picking up the pieces.
The biggest punch in the gut is she is the one who kept pushing for marriage. I tried my best, I most definitely fell short. For that I am remorseful. It seems the vow I took was not the same as hers.
TLDR FA partner of 7 years is divorcing me because the spark is gone and the relationship is beyond repair. She has emotionally disengaged for the past two months.
Any tips or help on how to brave the pain is greatly appreciated. I have already started therapy.