Did I mess up? Disclosed medical/personal dealbreaker on date
I think I might have messed something up with a guy I really liked and I need some help to know if I really did and how not to do it in the future.
I (F30) have had a preventive bilateral mastectomy due to having a high risk of breast cancer. Consequently, I am completely flat-chested. I have a few photos on my Hinge profile showing my chest and the clothes I wear show that I am flat-chested as well. I decided that if I liked a guy after the first date, I would tell him then about my mastectomy so that a) he wouldn't feel he had been unpleasantly surprised later on and b) if a guy decided he didn't want to be with me because of it, I wouldn't have invested so much time and emotions into the relationship.
Last Sunday, I met a guy (M31) for a date after talking for about a week. I really liked him, and I guess he liked me too, because he suggested meeting again. I agreed, and then I remembered to tell him about the mastectomy. I told him about it and said I know it might be a dealbreaker for him, but I just wanted him to be able to make an informed decision. I could not tell what he was thinking, but he was very nice about it and told me to get home safe.
Five days passed and I didn't hear from him, but he did not unmatch me on Hinge, either. I was scared he was ghosting me because of the mastectomy (or the weirdness of me having told him about it on a first date).
Finally, on Friday afternoon, I messaged him on the app and asked if he would be interested in meeting again, saying it was okay if not, but I just wanted to check. He didn't respond by the next early morning. I was having a lot of feelings (lol), decided he was just ghosting me, and unmatched him. My friend then told me she thought there might have been a chance he would have messaged me back saying he did want to see me again, so now I am sad that I messed up that opportunity, too.
So, gentle reader, I would like some feedback. Was it for the best that I disclosed the mastectomy on the first date, or should I have waited? My friends have given me different feedback on this. And do you think he might have actually still been interested in me, even though he didn't message me for five days after the first date?