r/hingeapp

I’ve been pretty active on hinge the past month and I have run into this same frustrating issue multiple times. I’m 35M and live in a big city and all of these women are 28-35 and professionals so I can’t chalk it up to immaturity.

I’m not sure why these women don’t just ghost me when being asked out. Or even saying they’re busy without offering an alternative day is enough for me to drop it.

Instead I have women agreeing to a date or giving days they’re free, and then ghosting the day of the date or dragging out the logistics until it’s obvious she’s has no intention of actually showing up.

The worst is I’ve had multiple women offer their phone numbers unsolicited only to pull the same runaround when moving to text.

I never double text, I’m not rude, I honestly don’t understand this behavior. Obviously I’m venting a bit right now, but I’ve had it happen twice in a week and it’s such a pain in the ass.

I have other matches I could’ve been pursuing more actively or making plans with, but instead I’m filling up my calendar with imaginary dates instead 😭

Does anyone have a good way of filtering out people who do this?

I (M mid-30’s) just got out of a relationship almost a year ago and decided to put myself back out there recently. I downloaded Hinge, and I live near a major US city. I matched with several women, but one in particular stood out and I really wanted it to work out.

She mentioned in her bio she likes to game and after we matched, we exchanged discord info and added each other. I asked if she wanted to play a few games together and get to know each other and she told me she worked nights so sadly she was busy. We continued to chat and things were going well. I express my interest in going on a date and she says to me “I think you’re very attractive and I’m getting a good vibe, but can I see a few more pics of you?” We exchange numbers, I send a few selfies and she sends me some back. The third being a topless picture, boobs out. I know that’s an immediate red flag, but I’ve been single for a while and it’s been even longer since I have been intimate with a woman so I played along a bit.

She asked for a revealing pic for me in exchange to which I asked “do you want to date or are you just looking to hook up?” and she replied she wanted both. She said ideally she wants something consistent, that feels like best friends and physical as well but no pressure. I appreciated her honesty and she’s very attractive so that was fine with me. I told her I don’t send nudes, especially to strangers I just met, but I did send back a shirtless pic in exchange that teased a bit of my junk, in a tasteful way I suppose. She asked when our first date would be and I set the whole thing up. It was supposed to be tomorrow. We kept talking thru out the night but since she was at work, she was pretty short. We mentioned we’d get on later to game together and she never reached out. I texted her good morning today, we briefly talked and I mentioned the exact location we’d go and asked if that was cool with her. I didn’t hear from her all day. Her read receipts are usually on and it stayed on delivered. I texted her again recently to see if we were still on and I can see I’m blocked. Also, I can see she’s been gaming on discord all day. Then, she unmatched me.

Is there something I’m missing here? I was intentional, was down with what she wanted, and even set everything up. I’m sorry for the lengthy post, but I figured nuance is important. Anyway, thank you in advance and I’m open to any and all advice

Hi, I’m a woman in my early 30s, and I just finished my master’s degree this summer. I recently got back on the dating apps, but I’ve been feeling a little insecure about being unemployed.

I worked in retail before going back to school full-time. Around the time I started my program, the AI boom really changed the job market, and a lot of the jobs I’ve been applying for seem much harder to get now. I currently have a part-time job and enough savings to get by, but I’m honestly starting to feel discouraged and like I’m not going to find a full-time job anytime soon.

I’ve been single for a long time, and I finally feel ready to start dating again. The thing is, I’m nervous about matching with someone and having them ask, “What do you do?” I don’t really know how to answer without feeling embarrassed about my situation.

Should I wait until I find a job before I start dating again? I don’t want being unemployed to stop me from meeting someone, but I also worry that it might make me less attractive to potential matches. I’d really appreciate some perspective on whether this is something most men actually care about.

Edit: I live in the US, and I’m looking for a serious relationship.

I (27F, East Asian in London, UK), have thought I was bisexual for more than 10 years. I’m not sure whether my attraction to men and women is necessarily equal (like 50/50), but this definitely isn’t a new thought or something I’ve only recently started questioning as I’ve felt this way for over a decade.

However, I actually never dated or had a relationship until at the end of last year, when I had my first dating with a man (not through dating app), we stopped seeing each other after a month. In early this year I started using Hinge, I was very nervous at the beginning and especially afraid being rejected by women, so I’ve met like 3-4 guys and we’ve never seen more than once. Now I’m less nervous and want to view both men and women’s profile, but I’m not sure if I should put bisexual or bi-curious in my sexuality section that is visible to everyone?

I know some lesbians / bisexual will say they would only date “true bisexual women” who have dated women before, rather than someone who just wants “experiment” with women which is highly disrespect. I absolutely understand this and agree , however I cannot lie that it’s true, I’ve never dated a woman before, I’ve only dated men so far, and I’ve never been into any relationships, so even dating itself for me is like something new that I’m “experimenting”. But I don’t want them to misunderstand that I’m “trying woman out”, That’s why I feel more comfortable putting “bisexual” rather than “bi-curious.”

On the other hand, I also feel a little uncomfortable calling myself 100% bisexual when I have no real-life experience dating women. I do watch more heterosexual porn, for example, although I read more lesbian fiction, and I honestly don’t know what my attraction would feel like in an actual relationship with a woman. So in that sense, I guess I am still exploring🥺🥺I just don’t want to put “bisexual” and have women think I’m lying or being misleading if they find out I’ve never actually dated a woman before

I’ve seen some posts about this, there are some self-assessment criteria and my answers:

1. Only recent thoughts: no it’s not.
2. Want to “try” or “experimenting” with women: I cannot deny it, but same for man, I want to try dating as a whole new experience in my life.
3. Sex with women: I can imagine myself doing this but I’ve never tried, and actually same for men, my 2 sex experiences so far with men were absolutely disastrous that I’m now consulting sexual health clinic for penetration pain (which is not the cause that I want to starting date woman).
4. Marriage: I don’t think I wanna marry in my life with any gender.

New to the app. I’m a 40 year old straight dude.

So I sent out about a dozen roses with messages to women, usually either jokes to get a laugh or questions regarding pictures…

Got a couple matches!

My conundrum is this:

Both of these matches show up under a tab called “their turn”

and that makes sense, because both ladies liked the message I sent them which was a question such as “you mentioned hiking, where is a good place to hike around here?” Or “Cool picture, what lake is that?”

My past experience on dating apps however has always been that as the man you are expected to make the effort to start the conversation once you actually match.

So is the expectation for me to start the ball rolling again with conversation even though I was the one who initiated with the question that they liked? Or should I expect these lovely gals to respond because the ball is now in their court?

Would hate to lose out or get unmatched because I waited too long… but also don’t want to be pushy or needy because I basically already started the conversation.

Not sure what the rules or etiquette is.