u/OneLastThr0wAway

I (M mid-30’s) just got out of a relationship almost a year ago and decided to put myself back out there recently. I downloaded Hinge, and I live near a major US city. I matched with several women, but one in particular stood out and I really wanted it to work out.

She mentioned in her bio she likes to game and after we matched, we exchanged discord info and added each other. I asked if she wanted to play a few games together and get to know each other and she told me she worked nights so sadly she was busy. We continued to chat and things were going well. I express my interest in going on a date and she says to me “I think you’re very attractive and I’m getting a good vibe, but can I see a few more pics of you?” We exchange numbers, I send a few selfies and she sends me some back. The third being a topless picture, boobs out. I know that’s an immediate red flag, but I’ve been single for a while and it’s been even longer since I have been intimate with a woman so I played along a bit.

She asked for a revealing pic for me in exchange to which I asked “do you want to date or are you just looking to hook up?” and she replied she wanted both. She said ideally she wants something consistent, that feels like best friends and physical as well but no pressure. I appreciated her honesty and she’s very attractive so that was fine with me. I told her I don’t send nudes, especially to strangers I just met, but I did send back a shirtless pic in exchange that teased a bit of my junk, in a tasteful way I suppose. She asked when our first date would be and I set the whole thing up. It was supposed to be tomorrow. We kept talking thru out the night but since she was at work, she was pretty short. We mentioned we’d get on later to game together and she never reached out. I texted her good morning today, we briefly talked and I mentioned the exact location we’d go and asked if that was cool with her. I didn’t hear from her all day. Her read receipts are usually on and it stayed on delivered. I texted her again recently to see if we were still on and I can see I’m blocked. Also, I can see she’s been gaming on discord all day. Then, she unmatched me.

Is there something I’m missing here? I was intentional, was down with what she wanted, and even set everything up. I’m sorry for the lengthy post, but I figured nuance is important. Anyway, thank you in advance and I’m open to any and all advice

The last few months without you haven’t been easy. Shit, even if you were here they still would’ve been hard. This has been a hard year for me. But what’s been keeping me going are those brief check ins, those few days of banter we’ve had here & there that give me hope. We never ended because lack of feelings or anything wrong happening. We both keep in touch the same amount, it’s never one person more than the other. When we joke or I make you laugh, it brings me back to when things were going great for us both.

Lately I’ve been wanting to pick up the phone to tell you I miss you. I know I can text or call you whenever I’d like, same goes for you and you know that, but I’ve been holding back. We’ve kept a healthy distance from each other despite our brief interactions and I know I may seem reserved, quiet even sometimes or maybe like I don’t care what happened but the truth is I miss you. I think about you every single day. I don’t just miss flirting with you or how serious things were, I miss my friend.

I miss talking to you, getting to know you, sharing stories and watching movies together. I miss staying up late at night having those talks we used to have. I don’t know what your life looks like these days, I avoid your social media purposely but I hope you’re doing well. I want to tell you I miss you so bad but I’m scared to find out something I won’t like, and I’m not sure how I’d feel. This year has been hard enough on me. But every day that passes I feel like I’m losing time. I miss you. Things don’t have to go back to how they used to be, but I do want you to know that I still care, think about and yearn for you.

I hope this doesn’t break any rules, but I’m even open to advice as long as it’s healthy.