u/Brave_Reserve_4739

I’ve decided as soon as possible I’m going to schedule an appointment to try and start hrt. I noticed when I’m “boymoding” i can’t stand to look at my face at all, seeing myself moves me to tears, but getting any bit dolled up a and pretty, even if I’m not good at it yet it instantly alleviates a lot of the dysphoria. I am a girl for sure and i feel i need to be brave and take that step.

Hair and brows will eventually get done whenever i can find an inclusive black salon near me. What else can i improve on here to give me more of a feminine quality? There’s definitely gotta be more i can do. Every time i feel a little of that euphoria feeling it gives me a spark of hope that maybe i can really do this. Like i might be able to reach a spot where i truly love who i am.

I’m new to reading tarot but i think this is saying i need to change the way i see/feel about this life decision or ill end up looking foolish?

Today i tried sone preglued lashes, attempted eyeliner again and my afro. I honestly wasn’t really liking it (my low self esteem talking) i sat down to try and record a little video for my new YouTube channel. I looked at myself and i had a euphoria moment. I couldn’t even record the video i just saw myself, i loved myself from every angle, even my big nose and terribly done lashes lol. I usually hate what i see in the mirror but this is truly the first time i loved myself Here’s some pics.

I think this gave me the push i needed to know that transition is right for me, i want more of this like so much more all the time.

I know by cis standards ill never “pass” my face i feel is aggressively masculine and definitely would be “clocky” lol. But im doing my best with what i was given. I just want to look how i feel yall. Ive been learning makeup one step at a time and i mean one step, i just went from that stick foundation and a sponge to liquid foundation and bought my first blending brush set. Im practicing eyeliner but i know i still look a MESS. I’ve tried everything and i cannot get rid of the hair/shadow on my lip and chin….🥹 Im trying to get all this learning out the way before i get my hrt plans going. What are some tips to make my face lean more feminine and less “this is just bro in makeup” or have my natural genetics doomed me? I have like zero cheeks on my face yall smdh. 🥲

I think if i got a gender affirming hair style that would help? but maaaan is it hard to tell people what i want without getting looked at crazy or interrogated. Around my city there’s like very little lgbtq presence and a LOT of hate. How do you find black, inclusive salons or locticians and stuff yall? 😭 if i had nice hair on my head i think seeing it would move me to tears tbh lol.