Blood Sport and grief at karaoke 🏳️🌈
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. We had an intense but stuttering relationship that lasted about 10 months with a 2 month break in the middle.
She taught me that I can be vulnerable with partners from the start, and a good partner will listen, care and try their best to help, even if we havent been dating long. Being truely vulnerable is hard for me, as it is for many people, and I made a concerted effort to be vulnerable with her from the start, even when it was scary. She always caught me when I needed her to, and showed me more care than I thought possible.
However, she was in a new non-monogamous structure with her partner of 7 years, and it slowly became clear that her partner couldnt cope with watching her fall in love with me. So the restrictions started rolling in; less time spent with me, no texting outside of scheduled dates, no overnights, etc etc, more and more.
But it was never enough. Her partner was still terrified of the demons in their own head, and relapsed into borderline abusing her until she was literally sick with stress. So yesterday, she broke up with me. The Blood Sport of our relationship was too much to endure, so she sacrificed her healthy relationship with me to re-stabilise her dysfunctional relationship with her older partner.
She still loves me. I still love her. We held each other for hours before she had to leave, and talked through our grief and heartbreak. Perhaps we can be friends? Who knows. Everyone breaking up says that. But i will love her however she will let me, and sing my grief for her for as long as I need.