Self- Improvement and managing school related anxiety
Hi, 17 f. Forgive me i am quite new to reddit so do let me know if Im in the wrong sub-reddit and where I need to go. As I am not sure if what I seek is life advice or mental health advice.
Right, I aim to:
Remove my father’s opinion of me from that part of my brain that manages my self worth and perception, just basically to make sure his words dont have such a great effect on me as they currently do.
Also, I want to be able to assess my work not harshly but reasonably, as I often don't know what constitutes as enough work or what is good enough quality work and find myself overwhelmed or ashamed of myself, so I would like to know what would be a fair judgement of that. Basically not eliminate my internal standards, just lower them.
Develop techniques to address my school work related anxiety. I already journal often and it helps some but sometimes I feel the anxiety just weighing on my chest so I want to do something about that specifically.
Start looking at hobbies (writing,debate, all the kinds of arts, building and exploring my perspective on life) or physical activity of some kind as I read that helps in stress regulation.
Deconstruct my judgement of others and their lifestyles. I have noticed in my life the things I judge others for is often just projection of my own fear. I have noticed that some aspect or experience of the thing I judge scares me because I don't want to experience it, which is good to some extent I think because it keeps me safe in certain scenarios . But I don't like the part where I make assumptions about people’s personalities and values, it's the same habit my father has and I don't like it so it's not fair I do the same to others. So how do I address that ? And basically become strong enough in my own identity to know that’s not for me while not holding it against others ?
Centre my pride around my perspective on life and how I craft it and share it with others. Not how high my grades are or how smart I am. I want who I am, as I am, to be respected by others and give others that same respect in return. Also, I want to be able to assess myself as a person through some other method than comparing myself to others, I don’t know what I would replace it with exactly but I don't want the knowledge that there is someone doing worse than me to comfort me and vice versa, I also don't want the knowledge that some is doing better than me to upset me.
Lastly, develop stable and healthy coping mechanisms for emotional regulation. Because I know there will be tough times and I want to be able to handle it healthily and appropriately.
Overall, I want my life to have a ratio of 55 : 45, 55 being the importance and time placed on education and 45 being the importance and time placed on indulging in hobbies and building an identity outside of school. Because despite the pressure I feel I do enjoy learning and my school work, it's really the pressure, shame and hostility that comes with failure as well as lack of understanding that gets me. I have goals and wants, I just dont know where and how to start. So honest, if you think I am missing something or only know the answer to a piece of the post, any and all help is appreciated. Thank you for reading and any advice you have to give, I really appreciate it.