Rant: Don’t think I’ll make it
I was falsely accused by a coworker. I’ve been on paid leave since, and it’s tearing me apart. My job deals with children, so they made up a crazy list of shit like drugs, sex, and grooming that would automatically trigger an investigation with the district & state.
At first I thought the accusations were a prank because they are so egregious, but it wasn’t. I kept my cool until a few weeks later I was asked to leave the premises in a humiliating manner.
Once I received the accusations I saw the verbiage used and automatically knew who had written them. I blocked this person and all who associated with them on everything. No contact has been made since.
I’ve contacted a lawyer, and they can’t do anything until the investigation is finished. They said I’m still young and to just find another career. It’s like I’ve been in purgatory for over a year now. I’ve yet to be contacted by DCFS or any places like that. I can’t even sue for slander because it’s not wrong to be cautious and it must be taken as “genuine concern” for the wellbeing of children.
The rumors have continued to spiral for over a year now, and are only getting worse. I’ve been followed by investigators,slandered online by the community,bullied by previous colleagues, etc.
I wish I’d never befriended this person. They tried ruining my life out of jealousy when I decided to cut them off. I was just so excited to have a friend as an adult because I am a recluse.
Im too anxious to leave the house 99% of the time, and living in fear at home checking windows constantly for police multiple times a day.
I have a partner whom is still supporting me through all this somewhat. They are more worried if this will have an impact on their job. My parents know and are so fucking broken and sad for me. I know it has to be a pain to be associated with me through all this.
I got a job offer outside of this sector. However, who knows if they will hear of these rumors and decide to rescind the offer.
Everyday I fear that police are going to show up, arrest me, and paint me as a pedo. I don’t know if I should just end my life now or wait until the day this shit hits the fan. I have already decided the plan and currently have the means to make it happen if it comes to that point.
I live everyday in fear. I want to move away, change my name, and start over. That’s not plausible though. I’d rather die than continue this way. The shame and disgust this has brought upon me can never be repaired.
I tried therapy and it didn’t help. I was on medication for depression and anxiety but weened myself off to try to handle this in a natural way with exercise and meditation.
All I wanted in life was to be a wife and mom. Those dreams will never come true now.