r/SupportForTheAccused

Sorry i didn’t know what flair to use reddit is new to me.(Just like a trigger warning this involves pretty rough and bad stuff involving kids)When I was 13, yes I know 😞. I really wanted to lose my V-card, before anyone says anything about this whole idea yes I’m aware it was stupid as fuck, I am 16 now. Anyways I met this girl online and she liked me and I liked her and we were talking for quiet a while and she did tell me that she wanted to do freaky stuff and she lived in a different area than me so I somehow convinced her to sneak out, get a train and than a bus at midnight to an abandoned house with a bed in it 🫩. We walked around my town at night talking for a bit and she brang a weed vape and I brang alchohol (we agreed to do this before) and I was already kind of tipsy as I was nervous so i drank. I always urged her to drink aswel as I was soooo nervous.We than started making out in the bed and I always asked her if she was ok to progress. She sometimes would say that she wanted to just not progress right now and keep on just doing stuff we were doing but eventually we ended up having sex. She gave consent as before I progressed in any way I asked for consent. We than just watched a movie together and chilled the rest of the might and the day after she asked to go out with me. Even talking about this cringes me the fuck out please keep in mind I’m 13 shes 14. We are than going out and once again after a week or two of going out she comes to do the same thing and she brings condoms this time and basically the same thing happens. After a month or two of dating I lose interest and I started talking to one of her friends and planned to meet up with her ( ik what a dick move) she found out and was so angry but somehow i convinced her to stay with me but after a few weeks i js broke up with her. She was so upset that she lost her v card to someone that she wont even stay with and was really mad. But we broke up on good terms.

Can I just say I am aware that I was an asshole to her regardless of the “rape” allegation. I really was just so immature and didnt understand emotions and how to treat people, I am a completely different person now.

Anyways so everything was going fine in my life without her until one of my friends says he heard lots of stuff about how I am “terrible at sex” and my dick was tiny and that she didn’t even feel it. And lots of private stuff about me. Didnt bother me that much but not nice to hear rumours about myself especially private stuff, all just petty made up stuff. I then was at a function drinking and I got very drunk and she was there and she confronted because Apparently I “raped” her. She repeatedly punched me and I was so drunk I had no idea what was going on and I knew I couldn’t hit her back so for 15 minutes straight she was shouting at me punching me in the face and I was screaming at her back just eating the punches as I was pretty numb. When I got home my face was completely bruised and swollen from the punching. A girl I know said that she told her that she planned to assault me that night and that was the only reason she went out. I had lots of mental health issues following weaks as I kept getting flashbacks of me just getting assaulted and just feeling of helplessness and how I couldn’t hit her back as if a video of me punching a girl I would be done for. I couldn’t ever sleep at night and I would always punch walls randomly. I ended up breaking my knuckles once from it. I didn’t think much of her saying I raped her though as I was super drunk and didn’t really comprehend it. Than a month later I started hearing about rumours about myself and how I raped a girl. Friends started asking me if I “really raped her?” Girls started ignoring me etc. my friends siblings knew and would tell their parents, my friends parents didn’t want me to hang out with them anymore, in the street I was walking with my mom and she was behind me and saw me and shouted “Rapist!” at me. This got so bad to the point I was fully convinced I raped her and she was the victim. Anyways this was really tough for me but tbh theres no more of the story, time just went on, everything slowly fizzled out and everyone forgot, but it always left a scar mentally for me. I noticed that it gave me a lot of trauma and affected my mental health a-lot leading to trust issues, anxiety, stress and other things. And i like to think I’m not a sensitive person either at all. Anyways I just sometimes feel to this day guilty about it for some reason like I always have and I just want to know how do I know if I didn’t rape her? Obviously not rape but sexually assault?

A person I thought was my friend has been spreading false pedophilia allegations against me, and I genuinely don't know what to do. I’ve been through so much trauma in my life, but this hurts way worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. I honestly really want to kill myself, and if I do, I hope they’re happy with what they’ve done.
I don’t understand what I did to deserve this. I’ve been nothing but kind, not just to them, but to all of my friends. I’ve never done anything racist in my life, and I’ve never groomed or abused a child. These false allegations have completely broken my spirit, and I honestly just can’t take it anymore. What did I do? Do people really hate me that much to the point where they feel the need to spread false allegations against me? This hurts so much. I must really be that insufferable to the point where people want to ruin my already awful life.

Look, both are absolutely horrible. Rape hurts a person mentally and emotionally, I get that it's traumatic and can mess someone up. No denying that.

But let's be real for a second. If you're murdered, your life is over. You don't get to heal, you don't get to enjoy anything ever again, you lose every future moment with family, friends, food, music, favorite movie, traveling whatever you love. A rape survivor still has their life. They can still laugh, work, fall in love, chase their dreams, and slowly rebuild even if it's hard. The murdered person gets nothing. Zero.

I feel like we pretend these two are on the same level sometimes, and it just doesn't sit right with me. The complete and permanent erasure of a human life feels like the much bigger evil.

What do you guys think? Men, women, everyone, just honest opinions.

PLEASE watch my video and like, comment interact I need help!!

I need legal advice regarding a serious issue involving our neighbors. Pls bear wid me as this is long post
Around 1.5 years ago, a new family shifted next to our house. The main person involved works as a handcart/rickshaw vegetable vendor in the local market.
Soon after they moved in, he started using extremely abusive and filthy language every single day. Initially, we thought he was abusing another neighbor because they had refused to allow him to park his vehicle, whereas we had allowed him to park near our house. However, after some time, he started targeting our family directly.
He would regularly threaten us, abuse us, and use extremely vulgar and obscene words against me and my mother. When we complained to his sister, she simply said, “Woh to mard hai, gaali to dega hi.” Instead of stopping him, she justified his behavior.
As the harassment continued, we submitted written complaints to the police against him two to three times. We also have audio recordings in which he can clearly be heard threatening to rape me, throw acid on me, shoot us, and even saying that he would fire all four bullets into my brother. He also gave similar threats to my mother in front of our colony secretary. Throughout this period, he continuously used highly abusive, obscene, and sexually offensive language against both me and my mother.

About a month ago, my brother was standing outside our house talking on the phone. The neighbor passed another obscene comment, telling my brother to “bring his mother upstairs” while making vulgar gestures. Obviously, no son would tolerate such disgusting remarks about his mother. My brother confronted him and asked him to come outside if he wanted to say such things directly.
Instead, the neighbor physically assaulted my brother. We immediately filed an FIR against him. My brother underwent a medical examination, and all the injuries caused during the assault were officially documented as part of the FIR.
After we filed the FIR, the accused retaliated by filing a false cross-FIR against my brother.

Our biggest concern now is my brother’s future. He is currently looking for a job as an IT developer, and we are worried whether this false cross-FIR could affect his background verification, future employment opportunities, passport-related matters, or his plans to pursue higher studies in countries like the USA or Canada.
We are seeking legal advice on the best legal course of action to protect my brother’s career and ensure that this false retaliatory case does not adversely affect his future.

Only in my early 20s. I met a guy last year over the internet. We fell in love pretty fast. Over the months our relationship grew. And we had a mutual friend who had a sad passing that left a vacancy in their apartment. We decided on me moving to his state and living together with our friend. Plane ticket purchased and tearful goodbyes to my family. I wound up in a state clear across the country thousands of miles away.

Things are good off the bat. a bit rocky but i thought it couldn’t be all perfect. awkward and nervousness is a natural thing for new love.

A week goes by.

He doesn’t show up and it’s late. I’m texting him and I see the messages being read but not responded to. And I just figure he’s late due to the work. I fell asleep and woke up to banging at the door. multiple cops, multiple cars. Asking me if I hurt him or if we've been having issues.

I’m horribly shaken up and confused by all of this. But I’m still cuffed and taken in. interviewed and questioned, but I’m jailed still. My hands bruised from the cuffs, as well as a bump on my forehead from hitting it on the roof of the cruiser.

I was told I was being accused of sexual assault and domestic violence.

Zero evidence, Zero reason, Only confusion and fear. I was in a completely different place. I had no family and nobody other than the man I was with. As well as our mutual friend/roommate.

Within the first week I was assaulted badly. permanent damage to my left eye and multiple broken teeth.

I wasn’t able to contact my parents until over a month in. And by then I’d already had my public defense attorney pushing trial back multiple times. I was alone and scared.

But after months of enduring.

The grueling process of trial.

I won, I was found innocent, And got a full acquittal. But by then my friends had left. All I have now is my family. After getting home and being in therapy for a couple months. I still suffer intense anxiety. I still have nightmares constantly. But I am managing myself the best I can. And trying to move on with my life.

"Hi - My ex has been stalking me for many months. I tried being nice and slowly separating from him, I tried cutting him off entirely, I’ve brought in law enforcement and have consistently enforced boundaries with no contact other than legal/law enforcement. I am scared of him and am so exhausted with the whole situation. He‘s clearly obsessed and will not stop. Has anyone here experienced this and navigated this situation successfully? How did you do that? I feel I need the legal system to help protect me but it does seem like calling the cops/jail/ etc further escalates his angry obsession with me. I just want this to stop. Any personal experiences or advice out there? thank you."

you wanna talk about exhausting? try spending the night shivering on the floor in Booking @ the county pen, over and over, based on falsehoods. There'll be no conviction of the, yet another, alleged violation, because a conviction, requires evidence. but the damage is already done and she knows it. delusional, malicious, vindictive, paranoid, ex girlfriend, has been accusing me of stalking and being "clearly obsessed."

for seven months now, with no evidence, no convictions, no corroboration, just accusations, with multiple attempts @ public shaming. she just won't leave me alone.
she posts slander online, calling me out personally, if myself or one of my supporters attempts to push back on it, that's all the evidence she needs to support "clearly obsessed."

"consistently enforced boundaries" - looks like lying to law enforcement about where you've seen your ex, so he will be arrested again and again.

wrecked my life because of how far she has been allowed to carry her accusations, on just her word alone. she's delighted to have wrecked my life. custody arrangement, job of 3 years, financial devastation. almost took our home (11yo daughter and me).

when someone has an unreasonable/unwarranted fear, according to her, that should be all the evidence needed to have someone locked up and kept there (begging the judge @ every opprtunity to keep me locked up because i'm so dangerous).

i'm afraid of him (maybe because of all the hurt you've brought down on his head?), my fear proves that he is dangerous. can't get court to convict him, so public attempts @ shaming and gathering undeserved support behind her deceptions, is all she has left to work with.

stop publicly attacking/shaming and we'll stop publicly pushing back.
give it a try, crazy-malicious horse trainer.
i wish nothing to do with her ever again.
her claims of "clearly obsessed" may someday require some proof, that day can not get here fast enough. i can not wish for anything more earnestly then for the straight of her deceptions to be reviled/revealed.

even when that day comes, nothing will happen, except i won't be in jail.

she get's to just take all her lies, and walk away, free & clear.
there is no way, after all of this BS she's been running, she could ever accept the truth of my desire to have her removed from my life forever. gratefully. completely.

wheels of justice grind so slow... she'll likely still be calling me a stalker long after i'm convicted of absolutely nothing.

i alone say he's a stalker, so he is. i don't need evidence, i just know he is - deluded malicious petaluma horse trainer

PostScript: for all of the arrests, custody loss, and the financial devastation, job loss, friend loss, betrayal, humiliation, embarrassment, shame, and universal/complete frustration... just in every aspect of my life that has been affected by being falsely accused of domestic violence...based on her fears...for all of her fears... her fears of this or fears of that, all of her fears... all of them... none of it, none of it, has come to pass. zero. And I still lost everything and I'm innocent. won't be convicted of stalking. It's been a whole lotta fluff-nothing for seven long months, and I've been dying for everybody to get up to speed... starting to finally happen. allthewhile... crazy-malicious continues to come @ me. hateful.

I was recently investigated for neglect by APD and just received the report and it said it was found substantiated. Now I’m scared this is going to go further to law enforcement and also keep me from a really great job I’m in the middle of applying for.

The thing is, the report is full of things that even talk about how I made steps to improve and protect the individual from the things going on so how they decided I was at fault is blowing my mind! Any advice?

My wife set a clean boundary at work this weekend, and then spent the next few hours trying to prove to herself that she was allowed to.

Her manager had already taken her Saturday, and she could feel Sunday going the same way, so she got ahead of it: told the team she was on standby all day Saturday, anything they needed, fast, so Sunday could stay hers. Clean. Done. The boundary was already set.

But she could not leave it there. She kept coming back to me: was he being unreasonable, was he doing this on purpose, was he the kind of person who just jerks people around. Again and again, turning it over, looking for the confirmation. Not whether the boundary was right. Whether he was wrong enough.

That is the part I keep sitting with. The boundary did not need him to be a villain. It was already working. The searching was doing something else. She was assembling the case for her own permission.

Because wanting the rest was not enough. "I would like my Sunday" does not clear the bar. To actually feel allowed to protect her own time, she needed it to be true that he was being unfair, that there was real harm, real intent, that she was the one get hurt. The right to protect herself only switches on once she can prove she is a victim of something.

This is the thing underneath "just set your boundary." For some of us the permission is not free. It has a price of admission, and the price is evidence that you were hurt badly enough to deserve it.

And that price gets set early. If the only time you were allowed to protect yourself growing up was when the harm was big enough to be undeniable. when you could show you had really been wronged, that someone really meant it, then small, ordinary self-protection does not get licensed. You do not get to just want something. You learn that the only key that opens the door is proof that you are a victim. So you keep cutting that key. You search for how they wronged you, you build the evidence that you are hurt, that you are the one being mistreated, not because you are dramatic, but because it is the only way you were ever shown to reach the thing that lets you say no.

I am not describing this from outside it. I know the move from the inside, in my own marriage and in my own head: I have spent a lot of my life as the one who keeps the peace, and is so automatic I usually only catch it after. Naming it does not switch it off. But I have stopped thinking the work is getting better at proving the other person is bad enough. That is just sharpening the key.

What actually helps, is letting the reason be small. You wanted the rest. That is the entire case. You do not have to first establish that they were malicious, or that you were hurt badly enough to have earned the right. The version of the no that needs all that proof is expensive, it costs you the searching, then the anger, then the shame when the size of it embarrasses you later. The version that just says "this is mine and I want it" does not need a victim, so it does not leave a charge behind.

My wife is not all the way there. Neither am I. Mostly it is just starting to notice the case-building while it is happening instead of a day later. But that is the direction, and it is the thing I would want anyone here to have: you do not need to have been wronged to be allowed to protect yourself. You are allowed to want the rest. Wanting it was supposed to be enough.

Hi,
I just have to vent what happened the last few days.

It all started with my wife getting a call from an unknown woman who called herself Mia. She continued to claim that she wanted to tell someone about me, and that I was on several dating sites and pretended to be someone else.

Apparently I had been in a relationship with this person for a couple of years. This Mia wanted my wife to know this.

She also got screenshots of this betrayal by showing a picture on a dating site where someone says their name is Carsson (that's not my name) and that we would talk on the phone later in the day. There was also an email address written in the screenshot that I was supposed to use.

There was also a screenshot of a picture of me, from about 10 years ago. The screenshot, however, looks manipulated.

I am not on any dating sites, I have not had any relationship with anyone other than my wife.

I feel offended, angry, sad and frustrated, but also a bit ashamed (oddly enough).

My wife, on the other hand, hung up the call fairly quickly and blocked the number. I have done the the same, blocked the number. We have also taken the matter to the police, and have filed a report about the whole thing.

The number from the person who called is unregistered, so we do not know who called, the wife did not recognize the voice. Even the police cannot see who owns the number.

What do I do now? I feel a great concern that this is creating intense friction in our relationship and we want to keep the children out of this. I am mostly afraid that someone will show up outside one of our jobs or even worse our home and create a scene.

Any advice?

Postings from a local neighborhood forum:

"Neighbors, there is a dangerous stalker in our community. Please, I’m asking that you call the police if you see any suspicious activity around building 12. Please don’t overlook anything that doesn’t seem quite right, even in broad daylight. He’s not above posing as a maintenance person or other type of worker and getting on a ladder to get into a home or messing with electrical equipment. These are things he has done before. He is currently charged with felony stalking and has many charges moving through the legal system. He has also been know to lurk in the shadows around building 15. Please keep an eye out and thank you from the bottom of my heart. It’s a very scary situation! Let’s all help each other stay safe. "

"Thanks to everyone concerned about this. I truly appreciate it. Please take note of all the nasty posts about “the angry horse trainer with brown pitbull”. These are ALL from the stalker, who is creating fake accounts. It’s just words, and I’d rather that than a physical attack. But if anyone wants case info with Petaluma PD I’m happy to provide. I do have valid reasons to worry for my safety, and real arrests, restraining" order, and charges based on evidence. My only reason for posting was for extra eyes and ears around my (our) home. Sorry for the drama, not my intention, and thanks for reading."

"I do have valid reasons to worry for my safety" yes, i would consider delusional paranoia a valid reason. You've not any reason to be worried for your safety based on anything your ex has done/is doing, said/not said.
yes, you've caused real arrests based on your delusions. and yes, you've a real restraining order because of it.
can avoid the truth that her ex is leaving her alone, restraining order or no.

"Charges based on evidence."
oh yeah? we'll see you in court. you have nothing, no evidence, you've all this surveillance gear @ your apartment, and still no evidence.

"My only reason for posting was for extra eyes and ears around my (our) home."
why the extra eyes and ears if technology is doing it for you?
almost believable, however because of your lies to law enforcement, her ex is being forced to wear a GPS monitor, which he has on right now. He's being tracked by probation and they get notified electronically if ex approaches her home.
So knowing this, you still launch your public shunning, not for safety, but to garner undeserved support for your lies from the community, and drive your ex and his daughter out of their home.

That, my friends and neighbors, is the straight of it.
let's see your evidence Bethany, please, share it with the community...
Delusional horse trainer.

she's not sorry for the drama in the least. Bethany is the source of it, and over 6monthes latter is still pushing her BS.

her personal and professional reputation is now on the line. the DA never even filed charges for stalking more then 4 months ago. This is all the scraps of her case she's trying to support on alleged CPO violations (of which, she has made many)

And with all of it, NO EVIDENCE.
rather then getting your slander on now, why not wait till i'm convicted of something? anything?
if you can't get the courts to do your bidding, just convict me in public with slander.

I'm a dangerous stalker to one horse trainer, not to the court, not friends/family/neighbors, only one disgruntled, delusional, exgirlfriend, who was physically and emotionally abusive of me for nearly 5 years.
"no beating horses, only men!" :-(

I’ve been accused of 2nd degree sexual assault. I’ve had a lot of support. I’ve read the police report and it’s completely nuts and full of lies and inconsistencies. My screening is coming up next month. Has anyone been in this situation and had their case dismissed? How long did it take you? What did your lawyer say? How did you manage your time waiting for updates?

I’m a boy from the uk 18yo, last week I went to a birthday party at an Airbnb and obviously I was around people my age all over 18 and we were all having a fun time drinking and smoking, thing is next day I wake up with a message from the bday party girl saying multiple women felt uncomfortable by me and I got accused of being a girls toucher, things got even worse after that.
Let’s start from the party itself, I get there with my friends, have a good time talk to people and talk to new people as well, I got laid twice that night but we are about to get into it, when I first started socialising with the new people this girl was drowning me on compliments for my looks my hair and more, I reciprocated because I like being complimented and it all lead to a kiss not long after, after the kiss we walked outside and I was talking to my friend, when then something else happened, another girl was talking to me and she kissed me out of the blue, now as a young man you can imagine how I must’ve felt, I didn’t back down because quite frankly she was my type as well, but that’s where things start to get messy.

This second girl ( we gonna call her becca) was a friend of one of my best friends ( we gonna call him Ben) Ben and Becca have known each other for 3 years but it all started because they had the intention to date at first but she was not interested in him like that, so Ben stayed friends with her, the day of this bday party, I texted Ben and he told me how he was bringing Becca ( mind you I never really met her before I just knew she was someone in his life, genuinely no info up until that night) so I’m texting Ben and telling him how he should try make a move maybe but he clarified multiple times how they are just friends and he wouldn’t do that, so now we got to when Becca kissed me, that triggered Ben because apparently he lied to me and he actually still had feelings for her, pretty strong too. Now in this situation if you was me you’d apologise and move on but that’s where I made the mistake, I apologies but then Becca and Ben went to talk privately and ended up talking about me, I’m a curious person so I decided to ask Becca afterwards what was it all about and then we ended up kissing again, ( I won’t blame it on the alcohol and chemistry but it defo played a part) now that enraged my friend Ben who started slapping himself and other stuff he didn’t wanna talk to me so I left him alone, by the end of the night he left saying he was sorry because he should’ve told me he had feelings for her but he didn’t so it was a miscommunication and it was all good, but ofc it wasn’t and he then ended up blocking me everywhere not even an hour after. Meanwhile all this was happening I was still talking to other people at the party interacting with them and everything else, I did not have no sexual intention with anyone cuz that’s not where my headspace was, but apprently some girls told the party girl that I was being touchy whit them, when in reality the max I have done was to either hold someone by their waist ( which in retrospect I understand how u can feel uncomfortable by that) or simply talk to them in a drunk way cuz I was drunk. It all then ended up becoming a bigger thing, because when the birthday girl texted me she also texted my groupchat where I have A LOT of people in it (I know a lot of people and do events and stuff, it’s business too for me so imagine how that impacted my life) and from there it all went downhill because when that message was sent in the gc I was at work and I couldn’t reply I logged in the account and read some wild shit like how I’m a predator, how I do events to lure girls to come and molest them, how I see women as nothing but objects, I even got called a rapist. None of it was backed up by facts, none of it came with receipts, even the people who attended the party and saw me did not say a thing to defend me. It all ruined me. The day after I sent an apology message in the gc, it was a weak one, but I only said what was true, that I was deeply sorry anyone felt uncomfortable by my behaviour, I did not feed into any of the lies, I did not defend myself from allegations, none of that. I should’ve but because of all the things that happened at the same time, loosing all my friends, even the closest ones due to that girl thing, then the allegations, then sponsors and important people I work with cutting ties with me due to all this, I had nothing left of me to fight. But now I do.

I lost it all so I have no reason to let this go further, it’s been a week but now I have a plan.

I know the Airbnb where the party was held, I requested via email to keep hold of the camera footage of that night, I have not received an email back yet, so I will call today. I will also go to the police and tell them everything that happened because I have receipts and that should allow me to open a case and therefore actually have access to the footage of the party, I will hold accountable every single fucking brainless person who fed into the lies and further ruined my life, I will expose this whole thing and once I have all the proofs I need I will post it all. They will all go down for doing this.

I’m not doing it for approval or redemption, I’m doing it to clear my name and soul, because at least I will fight for what’s right for what’s true. And if anyone ever mentions this stuff I have proof I can say I AM INNOCENT.

So please help me figure out what’s the exact best way to go about this situation, I’m a young man, who has done so many things to succeed in life already and I do not want to stop living my life because people believe lies and rumors with no proof instead of questioning the accusations.

Help me.

Help Me Fight Ongoing Harassment, Doxxing, and Privacy Violations

For the past several years, I have been the target of relentless online harassment. What began as cyberbullying escalated into doxxing, stalking, defamation, and repeated attacks on my privacy. False information has been spread about me online, causing emotional distress and impacting my daily life, personal relationships, and sense of safety.

Despite my efforts to report the abuse and have harmful content removed, the process has been difficult and overwhelming. I am now facing the challenge of navigating legal procedures, protecting my identity, and pursuing the removal of content that violates my privacy and rights.

I am raising funds to help cover legal consultation fees, document preparation, identity verification requirements, filing expenses, and other costs associated with protecting myself and restoring my online safety.

This isn't just about removing harmful content—it's about reclaiming my peace of mind and standing up against harassment that no one should have to endure.

If you're unable to donate, sharing this campaign would mean the world to me. Every contribution, no matter the size, helps me continue this fight and move toward a safer future.

Thank you for your support, kindness, and belief that everyone deserves to live free from harassment and intimidation.

Goal: Protect my privacy, defend my reputation, and hold those responsible accountable.

❤️ Every donation and share makes a difference.

https://gofund.me/6f1df193f

We need to create a list of great, empathetic, skillful lawyers so that anybody going through allegations would be confident because other people have vouched for them. A lot of google reviews are fake. So it would help if people who have used lawyers in their respective jurisdictions would give honest reviews and contacts. How do you guys think this would be best executed?

Location: Oklahoma
I’ve had an ongoing issue with a stalker for about 3 years. I also want to preface this with no I never had sexual contact with her once nor did I insinuate that’s what I wanted.I met this girl through a mutual friend I never really hung out with her we stayed mutuals on Instagram for a while before I even hung out with her once. I hung out with her for the first time 3 years ago we had hung out a total of 3 times over a span of a month.
I had just turned 20 at the time and she had told me she was 17. Initially I had only hung out with her as friends because that’s what I presumed we were. On the third and final day we hung out she had tried to kiss me and kept trying to grab my hand. I told her to stop and she was making me uncomfortable. She kept just looking at me weirdly. I was already super uncomfortable because I had smoked her weed at the time which looking back at her behavior wasn’t smart it was definitely laced.

After that I had stopped hanging out with her physically. Well after that she had started texting me more and more and just being generally annoying. I had told her to leave me alone and to stop trying to flirt with me as it made me uncomfortable. She started going around telling people that we had a multiple year long relationship and that I was her “ex”. Which would be impossible considering I only hung out with her twice. The issues started when she went around claiming we had sex. Which I blew off because she’s clearly crazy it didn’t affect nor bother me.

Well turns out when we hung out she had lied about her age and was only 15 maybe 16. I don’t know seems she lies to everyone about her age. Listen I know there will be some judgement on “how could you not tell she was 15?”. Genuinely no idea between her face caked in makeup and the fact she was an avid chain smoker. I just believed her at face value and that was my first mistake. Also I wasn’t planning on being romantic with her so I didn’t really dig too deep since I had only hung out with her because I was bored.

I then proceeded to block her after finding out. She then went full postal. She made 30+ different accounts to contact me. I changed my number 3 times. I also deleted my main account and switched to a new account. Well lo and behold she goes to my work after hours and leaves a serial killer style note for me. I know it was her because CCTV caught her on camera. Well about 8-10 months ago I thought I had finally lost her new account with no name only close friends and a private account at that. Turns out nope she somehow found it. She then blew up my DMs claiming she had vivid dreams about murdering me. She also then had 4 alt accounts simultaneously try to follow me. I’m honestly just tired I’m scared that if I take any sort of legal action against her she will fire back with her false statuary rape claims. I know I’d win in court the issue is a mugshot and arrest with that kind of charge is life ruining on its own. What do I do to avoid all of this? I’m genuinely just lost. I have like hundreds of screenshots from this girl over the years it’s genuinely bothering me.

Hello,

I would like to have your opinion.

A friend dated a girl in 2018 for a few weeks while traveling. The relationship went well despite a somewhat sudden breakup where he lost interest. They exchanged on the phone here and there during the following years. At one point during these discussions, she wrote to him by message saying that she had once disliked it when she had to physically repel it after she said she didn’t want to go any further while they were undressing, and then they went to bed and nothing happened.
4 and 7 years later, she brought up the matter again by calling it "attempted rape" in a message because she claims he was going to penetrate her.
That didn’t happen.

What are the chances that it will degenerate? He is worried about her messages it because, as the first one was sent a few months after the relationship, it could be interpreted as being the most accurate version in case of a situation, especially if she also told it to relatives at the time.

Thank you.

My bf about 4 months ago told me he was being accused of rape and has to turn himself into prison the next day. He has consistently denied the allegation. His story is that he visited a friend who just moved into town. He was friendly with this person, used to flirt, and confided in her for relationship advice. He and the girl had been drinking. She made advances toward him and started dancing on him to which he rejected. He said he had a girlfriend. He then got too intoxicated, threw up all in her bathroom creating a mess, then passed out on her bathroom floor. He accidentally took her keys because he was really drunk and returned them promptly the next day after she asked him too. They haven’t spoken since. All of a sudden he is hit with criminal charges. He was arrested solely off of the girls statement. No dna or other physical evidence was taken. No statement was given by my bf. The charges were subsequently dismissed by the prosecutor at the first bond hearing for insufficient evidence. The girl was apparently very hard to get in contact with and when the prosecutor finally did she said she no longer wanted to go through with the charges.

My bf has never been violent or aggressive with me at all. It took him 3 dates to even kiss me and more for us to initiate sexual conduct. He has always been gentle and never forceful in anyway. He claims him and the girl never kissed or had any sexual contact. He even took a polygraph exam for me to prove this and he passed all questions with no deception found. His story has stayed the same and has never changed.

Not only has this been extremely traumatic for him but also for me as the gf. We broke up due to this but only because I feel like society would want me to. I want to defend him because I know he didn’t do this but I don’t want to be framed as a rape apologist from others. I don’t even know how to approach my friends and tell them I’m getting back together with him. We have spoken about the alcohol and the fact that he broke a boundary by going to a girls house alone. He understands this was wrong and took full accountability. He has been extremely open with me about the whole situation and never hesitates to explain anything or retrieve anything from his attorney. It has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I can say our relationship is stronger than ever and I feel my happiest and safest with him. What should I do? If anyone is going or went through this how did you survive?