Did I overreact to a situation with my partner or was I justified?
First time posting on here but watched a lot of Charlotte's videos reacting to Reddit stories so thought this was a safe space to share, bare with me this might be long and rambling.
(My partner uses Reddit also so I will use fake names)
I (28F) and my partner we'll call Matt (30M) have been together for 1 year and 2 months now, a few months into our relationship my partner told me he was going to meet up with a friend we'll call this friend Sam (gender neutral and it'll make sense why soon)
I've never been the sort of girlfriend to stop partners seeing friends etc so I simply asked 'oh nice where are you meeting him', Sam was a name that had been brought up previously but not much info was shared on how Matt knew them, how long they'd been friends etc so I thought this was a good a time as any to find out more. My partner simply said 'just going to the pub for a few drinks', ok nothing seemed off with the response so I dug a little deeper genuinely interested in who this friend is so I proceeded to ask 'oh how long have you known Sam for is he a friend from uni?', then boom 'Sams a girl and I used to work with her', felt a little strange that I wasn't corrected about the misgendering a little sooner but didn't think much more of it, being the kind of woman I am though I took straight to social media to look a bit deeper into Sam, managed to find her Facebook which was mostly private but saw her profile picture was her with a man and kids (later find out they are her children and the father of her children) which definitely put my mind at ease because by all appearances she was in a relationship, I trust my partner Matt 100% but he is a very handsome man and I believe he's out of my league, anyway time goes on and he meets up with her, stayed in contact with me throughout and he had a pleasant time so that was the end of that, for some context he's not a close friend of Sam's but they do keep in touch, rarely meet up but when they do it's only a quick catch-up, every now and then she'd be brought up in conversation found out dribs and drabs of information and my partner told me she'd be interested in meeting me but that's as far as that conversation went, a few months go by and they've organised to meet up for coffee on a day I'm working, again no issues with him meeting her I was working, would have been nice for it to be arranged for me to come along but hey maybe another time, after that no more meetups I suggested inviting her to his birthday back in January and she came up with some excuse not to attend, roll on another few months, they've not spoken as much as usual but out of the blue he receives a message from her saying 'do you want to come to my house', Matt messaged me and asked my opinion on wether he should go and I said 'oh will her partner be there?' to which he replied 'she doesn't have a partner', at that point I was very confused, so his single female friend has invited him to her house on her own? Obviously did not sit right with me, so I asked a few more questions 'was there any lead up to the invite?', 'how long has she been single for? Things of that nature, Matt said there was no conversation that day before the invite and SHE'D BEEN SINGLE THE WHOLE TIME, I asked him if this was something he thought he should have told me sooner? His response 'Im loyal to you and have no interest in anyone else', so I put my foot down at this point obviously upset that a woman who knows my partner is in a relationship has invited him to her house alone and said no I'm not comfortable with this, he didn't see an issue with it until I had to repeatedly explain that was blatant disrespect to me on her behalf, he's admitted to me previously he can't see flirtatious remarks/moves so I wonder if she's gotten the wrong impression from him at some point or she's been making moves he's unaware of (my partner hasn't been in many relationships), so due to this I asked to see they're most recent messages to see if she's crossed a line or he's unknowingly said something that's come across as flirty and he responded with 'I feel like you asking to go through my messages means you don't trust me', instead he deleted her from social media and deactivated his account 'to have a break from mindless scrolling', it's all left a sour taste in my mouth,I've asked a few friends who have sided with me but it's still in the back of my head, did I overreact?