AITA for being annoyed at my in-laws being at my house everyday afterwork?
Two years ago, my partner and I both got jobs that reduced our flexibility to be with our children after school. Our youngest (8 at the time) would need help getting to and from school (we live too close to the school for a bus so we have to walk). At the time, we asked my father in-law to help our kid get home from school when they were available.
Fast forward to two years from now, this has evolved to him being at our house every day until I get home from work. This isn’t really the problem; I don’t mind him wanting to spend time with my kids.
My qualm is the lack of boundaries. We have rules around eating healthy snacks, and not eating a giant meal after school to save ourselves for dinner etc…
He has made it a habit to cook my kids a frozen pizza almost daily after school, or let them have a free for all of basically anything to eat including sugary treats. This has literally resulted in my youngest having stomach aches, and not being hungry for dinner.
In the beginning, I asked him if we could limit the amount of crappy snacks, as it was resulting in my kid having stomach aches and not being hungry for dinner. He agreed, but now has resorted to still feeding them whatever, but actually hiding the evidence(throwing the pizza box directly in the garbage outside). This has been driving me crazy and making me feel like my boundaries aren’t being respected, and that it’s teaching my kids to hide things from me.
I have mentioned to my partner how this has bothered me, and that I feel disrespected in my own home. My partner says he means well, and that it comes from a good place, which just makes me feel like I’m overreacting.
It’s gotten to the point where I hate coming home everyday to pretend like I’m not pissed my boundaries and rules for my own kids aren’t being respected. It has made me resent my in-law.
I am just venting and looking for validation more than anything. I’m not expecting my partner to confront their parent about it or anything at this point.
AITA?
Update: the snacks and pizza are being brought to my home; we don’t buy that stuff and keep on hand.
Childcare is about half my salary hence why we go the free route