All of the sudden, everything in me is screaming, “NO!”
Hello, girlfriend of a cross dresser. Been dating for about 15 months. For some background, he has told me he is not trans. But then he turns around and uses the term “my transness” with regularity. I think he tells me he isn’t trans in the moments that he fears losing the relationship, to be honest.
I’ve seen him in women’s clothing probably 15-20 times. I’ve never really been super attracted to it, but I’ve tolerated it, for lack of a better word. He really is a good person and I do care about him.
Well, i went to his place a couple weeks ago and he was in a maxi skirt, makeup, jewelry. Nothing I haven’t seen before. But for reasons I don’t fully understand, I went to the bathroom and closed the door because it was like a Red Alert in my head that day. Alarms going off in my brain. “THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT!!” screaming in my head.
I’m trying to understand what changed. Did the “new” wear off? Did I truly see him as a woman that day and it didn’t feel right because I’m heterosexual? Did I see him as a man in women’s clothing and it just seemed a bit ridiculous? I’m really trying to figure it out.
Has this happened to anyone else? Like one day you just reached a point where you could not do it anymore? I’m struggling with the idea of ending the relationship because I know he’ll be hurt and I hate that. But I have to do what’s right for me, too.
Advice? Input? Thank you, internet friends.