2 y/o sleep is a mess, how to re-train?
Sorry for the long post, but I feel context is necessary...
My son just turned 2 years old (May 13th). He was sleep trained with extinction around 8 months and did beautifully.
Back in February our family struggled with back to back to back sickness. It seemed like every other week we had some new virus running through the family. Because of that he was getting rocked to sleep at night and at nap and laid down asleep and that was working. By April, everyone was healthy again BUT I had a new baby on April 16th. I just felt that this wasn't the right time to re-train because I didn't want him to associate the new baby with his sleep training. But now I feel like we've created a monster. He doesn't nap, if he does bedtime is a battle, and he's waking at night screaming some nights.
Our last working schedule:
Wake: 7:15am
Nap: 1:30pm-2:45pm (capped because I have to get sister from school)
Bedtime: 8:30pm
If we skip the nap completely we can't leave the house after about 4pm or he will sleep in the car and wake up a crying mess, be crabby the whole evening, and then protest sleep at bedtime. I've tried a "crib hour" (leaving him in his room for an hour at nap time) but he protests the full hour.
This week I plan to re-train him at night.
Questions:
-Is extinction still OK at 2 years old? Or is there another method you recommend?
-If he skips his nap, what time is bedtime? (Wake up is always about 7:15am to get siblings to school)
-Should I try to nap train also? This seems really challenging at this age but I do think he still needs a nap.
I am trying to strike a balance between meeting his needs emotionally while also setting boundaries and I feel like I'm failing.