So some background I, 39yr old female used to run and operate my own professional photography studio. When my kids were young I changed careers and now am involved in education and running/coaching youth sports. I no longer do photography for work but will occasionally do events such as weddings, births, graduation pictures etc for friends and family since I still own all my photography equipment.
The bride 23yr old female, is the sister of one of my students. Over the summer two of the brides sisters and niece were in my summer sports program so we got to know the family very well and found out that the brides dad is cousins with my aunt (by marriage). So we were already invited to the wedding and the bridal shower when the mother, let’s call her Barb and her husband Jay, approached me about doing the photos for her bridal shower and wedding. After talking with her parents they let me know that their budget was tight but they loved all the photos they had seen on my social media and had gotten great feedback from mutual friends and family about the photos I had taken for previous events.
After hearing what they wanted which was a lot to be honest. Photography during the bridal shower about 3 hours, photography the morning of the wedding while the bridal party was getting ready and photos of wedding apparel about 3 hours, photos in the limo on the way to the ceremony and the ceremony itself about an 1 hr, photos of the bridal party and family between the ceremony a d reception about 1.5 hrs, and then the reception they wanted certain photos of different dances and family members which equalled out to about 5-6 hrs. Overall I had well over 12hrs of time in just shooting the photos. So after a lot of souls searching I agreed to do the job for $700. This included shooting the photos, professional editing ( I have photoshop and Lightroom), and they would receive both original and edited photos in digital form and a copyright release. This really upset my husband because this is easily 2k normally, he understood that they were on a tight budget but he also knows that I would be making just a few dollars an hours when all was said and done.
Jay and Barb agreed to the $700 but said they would need to make payments. I told them that I was fine with payments as long as it was all paid when I delivered the photos.
So the day of the bridal shower arrives, I show up expecting Barb to have the first payment for me for the photography. She did not. Instead she approached me with her youngest daughter, let’s call her Jaimie, her miniature bride’s dress freaking out that it was too big and they didn’t have time to have a new one ordered and the local seamstress (we live in a small area and don’t have a large selection of seamstresses) wouldn’t fix it because of the invisible netting, beadwork and lace it would all need to be done by hand. Barb had heard from my aunt that I was qualified to alter the dress that it was something I had learned in my youth because my grandmother did seamstress work. Harmony, the bride asked me if there was anyway I could fix the dress and just count it as my wedding gift to her. At this time I had not received any payment for photos and I had just photographed the bridal shower.
I felt very put on the spot and like I would be an asshole to say no, but also I was getting anxious that I still hadn’t been paid for anything. After talking to my Aunt, she assured me that Jay and Barb had the money to pay me. So I agreed to alter the dress. I had to shorten the bodice and take the bodice in, and because of the netting it all had to have French seams, first the lace and beading had to be removed and then I had to redo the bead work and lace after taking it all in and the dress also needed to be hemmed. All six layers of the skirt and I had to add a bustle to the train. After I was finished we did a fitting with Jaimie and I ended up having to do some adjustments on the upper arms adjust the armholes in the bodice. When it was all said and done it took me about 8hrs of hand sewing on the dress. I definitely had underestimated how much sewing I would have to do when I agreed but since this was all my gift to the bride, so this was all free of charge.
At the second fitting, the dress fit Jaimie perfectly. It looked beautiful on her, and I was really proud of myself and the bride, Harmony and her mom , Barb were so happy. At this time I delivered the dress and still had not received any payment. Barb reassured me that they would get me paid but it would be after the wedding because they kept having little things come up that we’re eating away at the budget they had reserved. So after the wedding once everything was paid off, Jeff would make sure that they pulled from savings and Barb’s check to make sure that I was paid.
The wedding day came my daughter, and I arrived early we took pictures. We had to step in and help out with hair and makeup at one point because their makeup artist and hairdresser we’re running behind. I had worked as a cosmetologist to pay my way through college which incidentally is how I ended up doing photography in the first place. You wear many hats and develop a lot of skills over the years of being around weddings/graduations and doing photography.
At one point in the limo, there wasn’t enough seats for everybody so I sat on the floor while taking pictures of the bride and the bridal party inside the limo, it was a lot! My daughter was also attending the wedding and at one point, lent one of the bridesmaids her sticky invisible bra because one of the bridesmaids was unprepared and didn’t have the correct undergarments for her dress. Luckily, my daughter had brought a strapless as well that was fine to be worn with her dress. She had come overly prepared as she was unsure which one she would be more comfortable in because it was a very warm October day, around 80°. So when I say that I felt that I had helped with so many parts of the wedding process, there was a lot that we were doing and helping out with, and hadn’t been paid for anything.
The wedding proceeded and I took photos. After the wedding I sent Barb and Harmony several candid photos that my family had taken with their phones the next day. Then about a week later I sent Barb and Harmony about 5 edits to get their take on them and they were thrilled. At this point I had needed to pay to get the updates to Lightroom editing software but figured that my fee for the photos would cover it and I could use it for some other upcoming projects that I wanted to take photos for.
After a few weeks I reached out to Barb and she and Harmony wanted me to drop off the rest of the photos on an SD card. At this time I had asked Barb if she had a payment for me, she told me they weren’t able to pay me yet but that it would be soon. So I told her to let me know and that was when Barb stopped messaging me about the photos. I reached out twice more over the last several months and got brushed off. Recently Harmony reached out to me asking for her wedding photos telling me she wanted them to show her grandfather before he died. I told her I needed her parents to reach out to me about payment details and I would get back with her. They have not reached out.
So my husband thinks I should just give her the photos and call it a loss. I received $0 for anything and actually paid out to update my editing software to do her photos. I feel frustrated because I do feel bad that she doesn’t have nice photos of this big event in her life. But also neither Barb/Jay or Harmony/her new husband have event attempted to pay me anything. So am I the asshole? Should I give the bride her pictures and a copywrite release?
**update: Barb and Jay have posted pictures of family outings to a theme park in our state as well as cool new things they have bought recently including a new convertible for Barb!