u/BrokenJusticeNorris

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I am 18 years old, and my parent is currently terminally ill. I am about to lose them, and the emotional toll is incredibly heavy. I’m dealing with a mix of intense grief, anger, and jealousy toward people who get to grow old with their families.
Yesterday, my friend group chat was joking around about some older public figures (who are 64+ and my parent is 60). Seeing those ages triggered a sudden wave of bitterness in me. Out of nowhere, I left a very blunt, harsh comment saying I don't really care when middle aged adults complain about losing their parents because it's completely different from losing them at 18. I also said I didn't care if people were offended.
My friends immediately called me out for being insensitive. Once the initial defensiveness wore off, I realized my delivery was bad. I sent a long message owning up to it. I explicitly told them: "Truth is I'm not doing ok... I got kinda triggered because I'm jealous their kids got them for seemingly longer." I apologized, asked them to call me out if I act up again, and unsent the original rude texts.
They accepted the apology, one person (who did not lecture me) told me a reaction like my anger is "obviously normal” because I’m hurt, and the chat went back to business as usual.
But here is what hurts: even though I flat-out opened up and confessed to my group that I am breaking down and losing my parent, not a single one of them who lectured me private messaged me or asked if I was okay. They focused entirely on correcting my behavior and policing the tone of the chat, but offered zero actual comfort or support afterward.
I know I started the friction with a bad comment, but it feels incredibly lonely to realize my friends care more about chat etiquette than the fact that my parent is dying.
What should I do in this situation? Do I distance myself from them, or do I need to realize that 18-year-olds just don’t know how to handle heavy topics like death? How do I navigate these friendships right now when I am already entirely overwhelmed?

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I’m a new university student and my friend introduced her friend to our group. I made comment about how her friend and I used to go to the same high school (our school only had 900 students so everyone knew everyone). Then she looked super confused and said she had no idea who I was and hadn’t seen me before, and I told her we were in the same class for 2 years. I get that maybe she didn’t remember my name, but the fact she didn’t even say I looked familiar. I know she used to be friends with the popular kids, though I had no idea who she was until our 2nd to last year, whilst I was invited to join my popular kids but chose quality over quantity, and I suspect us having the same friend humbled her. I also understand it’s awkward when you bump into people from high school outside of high school, but we are adults now and should be mature about it, but I’m wondering if bringing up our connection was a bad move. Just to make clear, I haven’t heard anything bad about this person, no bad blood, and she seems like a nice person. AITAH?

I find it really funny when former colonial powers like UK, Japan, France, Spain, etc complain that people from countries they colonised are immigrating and in mass amounts, don’t get me wrong there are problems that have stemmed from immigration like the CSA rings in UK and If they are complaining over things like that then fair and I’m only talking about those who complain about immigrants because they “don’t look like them”. A lot of the same people who complain about immigrants don’t believe their country colonised and that they “defeated” the natives and “civilised” them, like yeah I’m sure selling Indians and Africans into slavery in different countries and abusing native children for speaking their mother tongue reeeaaally civilised them. The same sentiment can be said about nations made from colonisation such as NZ, US, AU, Canada, Egypt, Brazil, etc, because, while yes ideally you want people migrating to share the same values as your country, let’s not forget that the colonialists did not assimilate but rather made the natives adopt their culture. I’m native and I believe colonisation and immigrants moving countries to then commit crimes are both bad, but there’s a bit of hypocrisy when you think long and hard about it

*on a international level not regional specific. My country has free / affordable healthcare

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In western society it seems so much of the pressures in regards to fertility are placed on the women (whether that be getting pregnant or avoiding it), but a lot of the same “medical experts” or scientists who complain about female infertility don’t go and then research why that is. For example, endometriosis is one of the most barely understood conditions yet is one of the leading causes in women’s infertility. Once we get diagnosed our only “solutions” are to go on the pill, get it removed”, or suck it up which are really unfortunate options for people who intend on having children. Don’t get me wrong we do have IVF and surrogacy but not everyone wants to go down that route unless it’s the only option

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