u/Bropai

23 years old, still living with my parents. My whole life, I've told myself that I will never amount to anything, and that nobody could ever love me. And in recent time, these facts have become more evident. Let me break it down for you:

• I have no social life outside of a few close friends.
• I have never been in a relationship/no one has ever shown an interest in me.
• I don't have the skill or the talent to have a good job or complete the creative projects I want to do.
• I'm terrified to make potentially life-changing decisions.
• I don't think I'll ever feel truly happy or fulfilled.

I've been genuinely considering suicide recently. Though I don't think I'll go through with it anytime soon (mostly because I don't have access to a method that seems pleasant). I don't know what I'm supposed to do from here. I feel so hollow. The only real emotion I feel is fear that this will last forever. What am I supposed to do? Should I just give up?

I graduated last year with a degree in communications, specifically in film and digital media. Currently in Los Angeles getting some film work here and there, while working a normal job in the meantime. While I do enjoy it, I’ve realized that I lost the passion for it. The industry is terrible, and I just don’t think I want to spend my whole life doing this, even if I find a stable full time job. I’ve been very strongly considering pursuing a master’s degree in a different field, namely something science related. 

This isn’t something that just came to me on a whim. Honestly, I kind of regretted graduating with a comm degree. I was originally in biology and switched because I thought I’d enjoy this more, I was wrong. I don’t know if this is a smart or even feasible action to take, so I’m looking for some advice on what to do. 

I did fairly well in my first four years and think I can probably get three letters of recommendation if they’re required. Obviously it’s WAY too late to apply to the Autumn semester; I unfortunately waffled on this for a while. And if I do go in a completely different direction, I will almost certainly have to take some prerequisite courses, which I have no problem with. My main concern is whether this is even worth it. My parents are able and willing to help financially somewhat. I’ll have to take on student loans of course, but the fact I have any help is better than most. But even so, it may not be worth it in the long run.

I know I don’t NEED a master’s to work in another field, but it’s what feels right to me. I hope I’m not just making a dumb decision because I’m unhappy. I’d really appreciate any advice or guidance you could give to me.