i broke up with my ex who had BPD two months ago and im still feeling broken. i began therapy and im actively journaling and doing all the things i need to to get past it. my friends dont understand.
they think this is just a regular breakup, but they dont know what ive seen and went through. i even had a friend who dated a supposed borderline for years, but his experience didnt seem as fast or intense as mine had been... his was more of a slow burn from what it sounded.
my ex and i had intense enmeshment from the very start, just like im sure most of you had. we lived together, had pets, and so on. just wanna connect with someone who had a similar experience since it seems like nobody i know had been through something too similar.
my therapist knows about BPD but doesnt specialize in helping recovering FPs, so it seems like hes giving me advice for general breakups.'
my ex had dragged on contact the past 2 months, and just two weeks ago i stopped reciprocating and went NC., but i struggle to block them. i feel like i dont have it in me. i still ahev all the photos and videos of us, and some of the little gifts i got.
mentally i feel functional, thankfully. my job is good, my friends are great, my family is there, but i still feel alone. nonetheless, i find myself in limerance very often. always thinking of how terribly and amazingly ive been treated.
the breakup was messy too. i literally had to vanish, adn then deal with the pleading and so on over text and other hoovers... it had been torture. as i write this im listening to one of the songs i felt described them...
they had also been my first real relationship. so i feel likei have no real idea how it feels to be with healthy love, and not feel drained and emotionally abused by my partner. i just want to feel balanced again.