The right side is fully healed it's just the left side towards the end of the
I gave birth 6 days ago, and I honestly feel deeply traumatized by my labor and delivery experience. I just need to vent and hear from others who may have gone through something similar.
During my pregnancy, I was under the care of a team of 3 midwives. I mostly saw one of them throughout my pregnancy, while the other two I barely met. My pregnancy itself was smooth overall, but I went past my due date and had to be induced at 40 weeks + 2 days.
On May 2nd at 9 AM, I went to the hospital for my induction. My midwife met me briefly at reception and told me they would place Cervidil and then send me home. She said I’d probably have period-like cramps and occasional contractions, then I should return at midnight to have it removed and come back the next morning to continue the induction process.
About 3 hours after getting home, I started having contractions, and they became unbearable very quickly. I called my midwife and she told me to take two Tylenol, two Gravol, and sit in the bathtub. Around 6 PM I did exactly that, but the pain was still excruciating.
By 9 PM I told my husband I couldn’t handle it anymore and needed to go to the hospital. Around 10 PM I called my midwife to let her know I was there, and her response shocked me. She basically said I didn’t need to call her because the hospital would deal with me for now. Looking back now, I realize how insensitive that felt. She didn’t ask how I was doing, how much pain I was in, or if something was wrong. I later realized she had been with another patient before me and likely wanted to rest, but honestly, why was there no backup support?
The hospital staff also treated me horribly. They checked me and told me I was already 5 cm dilated, but then said they couldn’t really help me because I was under midwife care and that I needed to call my midwife. I called her again crying in pain, told her I was 5 cm and desperately needed an epidural. Her response was, “The hospital said you’re 5 cm?” almost annoyed, and then she said I’d have to wait because there’s a whole procedure for an epidural. She told me she would come, but it would take about an hour because she was in Toronto.
So I sat there having full-blown contractions, waiting in agony.
She finally arrived around 11:30 PM. She didn’t ask how I was feeling or comfort me at all. She took me straight to the room, put an IV in, and arranged for the epidural. Shortly after that, my water broke. When I told her, she barely reacted.
Around 12:30 AM, I asked how dilated I was and she said around 7–8 cm. Then she started oxytocin without really explaining why I needed it. It was just her, my husband, and me in the room the entire time.
A few hours later, my contractions started slowing down. Around 7 AM she said I wasn’t progressing much and called in an OB. But when the OB checked me an hour later, she said I was already fully dilated at 10 cm and things were progressing. That honestly made me feel like my midwife had no idea what was actually going on.
Not long after, my midwife said another midwife would be taking over because she hadn’t slept in over 24 hours and “her brain wasn’t working.” Hearing that while I was in labor was terrifying.
Thankfully, the new midwife was much kinder. She explained that my labor had stalled because the baby’s head wasn’t positioned correctly, and part of my cervix was still covering the baby’s head. She tried repositioning the baby, but it didn’t work. After pushing for 2–3 hours, they recommended a C-section, which was the last thing I wanted.
I know sometimes C-sections are necessary, and I’m grateful my baby is healthy, but I genuinely feel traumatized by how unsupported and uncared for I felt during labor. The lack of empathy, communication, and attentiveness from my first midwife has been replaying in my head constantly ever since.
I keep wondering if things could have gone differently. I keep thinking about how scared and alone I felt while in severe pain. I’m seriously considering filing a complaint because I don’t think I was treated appropriately at all.
If anyone else has had a traumatic birth experience, especially with feeling dismissed or unsupported during labor, how did you cope afterward? Did you ever file a complaint or request a birth debrief? I just feel really overwhelmed and heartbroken over the whole experience.
Going forward, I honestly don’t think I could ever trust midwife care again after what happened. As a first-time mom, this experience has been incredibly scary.