The biggest thing pushing me to quit is the anger. I'm tapering down and it's going ok but I keep getting these fits of rage. Stupid little things setting me off that shouldn't and then I just spiral.
I feel like when I started taking less is when it really turned on me. It seems like now, every time I dose (usually a small dose) I get so damn irritable. Is it because I'm taking small doses?
So I screwed up on my taper and now I'm trying to get back on track.
It took my a good month to get a baseline and figure out my doses but once I did I felt really good. I finally started to feel like I was on the right track.
I went in to the shop I always go to and got a bag of my normal brand/strain. When I got out to my car I realized half of fhe capsules were a different color. When I went back in the girl said someone else had the same complaint. The wall all the Kratom was on was being blast with sunlight all day. So I picked a different brand that had a small window and the capsules appeared to be uniformed.
Stayed on my schedule and didn't really notice much of a difference, not at 1st at least. I wasn't having any of the classic withdrawal feelings. I was a little more depressed than usually but that was about it. When it was time to get more I went to a different shop who had my usual brand and they weren't sitting in the sun.
I didn't notice a difference until I took my 1st dose this morning. It was the same dose I've been taking for a while now but it hit harder than it had been. It was nice for a brief minute until it wasn't. 1st I started getting the warmth all over and I realized I hadn't felt this in a while, like actually buzzing and not just maintaining. After that I've been having chills all day with the occasional hot flash. I'm not sweating and haven't worked hard at all but my deodorant stopped working around lunch time.
I'm just not sure what to do at this point. I really want this taper to work and I'm committed to my schedule and my dose. I'm not switching brands or strains, mostly brands, again.
Do I continue my usual schedule/dose and wait until my system levels out? Should I just take this as sign I need to step down my dose? Has anyone experienced this and what did you do?
If I jump now and go CT I'm going to be absolutely miserable with depresion and I'll end up relapsing.