I decided you guys were right. I sent Mark a text to break up with him since I was lying to him and omitting the truth. And deceiving him.
We're no longer together.
I ended it. Can't wait till he sees the text in 9 days when he gets back from deployment
✌️🏳️
So I told my boyfriend of 7 months finally that I am divorced. He's younger than me by 5 years so I was expecting it to be a shock to the system. But essentially what happened was that he said he would love to meet my siblings one day. And well, that's when I had to explain everything.
Edited to add: I waited 7 months because he's military, we went on 5 dates, I literally didn't know anything about this person exclusivity wasn't discussed. After 5 days within the span of 2 months, I was also dating other people. But it wasn't until he said he was getting deployed, keep in touch by email, sent me his work email, and then left that I decided to stop seeing other people. That all happened in one text exchange and I had no time before he left to actually talk to him in person or on the phone. I recently just heard from him for the first time over the phone while he's still away and told him as soon as I could.
I shared with him that when I was married before, I followed him for his work and when I left my siblings felt abandoned and my relationship with them is rocky now because of it.
I told him the gist of what happened because he said I didn't have to tell him but he was interested. And it's not like it's a secret.
So I explained to him I was young and dumb and stupid and I was trying to grow up too fast. I didn't know who I was and what I wanted and it was the first time someone ever cared about me. I was with him for 2 and a half years, and then after a while I realized he wasn't a good person. So I left. I lived with my mom for a bit and then I got myself re-established on my own again. And now I'm 3 years after that divorce and I'm doing really well for myself. But I dont think I'm going to jump into the deep end that fast again.
But he took it well and said in a kind of silly but accepting voice "take as long as you need. But now you're gonna make me wait because you just got done saying you're not gonna move that fast again. Haha. But I have 2 more years in the (city we met) before I have a new contract sending me to another city."
I told him, "I committed to someone for 2 and a half years. I can definitely commit to someone for 5 months long distance. Hahah"
And that's when he said "Okay yeah let's talk about that for a second." And then he went into detail about how I gave him the best long distance work trip ever because I was consistent and keeping communication open.
I also told him that I said to my sister before we got married, if it was a mistake, then it's my mistake to make. My lesson to learn. My life to build from. And honestly, I did.
And I went into the details of my family dynamics but the divorce really was just the core of the topic. I didn't share the details of my marriage or the details of why we got divorced. I just said that I "realized he wasn't a good person so I left."
In truth, sharing with someone that I tolerated behaviors like throwing objects at me, screaming at me, punishing me when I needed space, and sexually assaulting me... It's extremely embarrassing. I can share anonymously but sharing that with someone who knows me... I'm ashamed of that.
Scratch that. I'm an overdramatic bitch and I lied to him so under the advisement of everyone here, I sent him a text he won't see for 9 days that we broke up. Lol thanks for playing, y'all! It was fun!