The One Communication Skill That Never Fails
Hi everyone! I stumbled across this subreddit and I am deeply saddened to read some of the struggles people face with socializing. I hope my post can help some of my brothers and sisters. In my younger years, I went days without saying a word at school because I thought no one would want to talk to me. Now, I can walk into a party full of strangers, connect, and bring the fun myself. People sometimes compliment me on my communication. At one point in my career, I was paid basically to communicate with clients.
There are endless ways to improve your social skills. I'm sure for many of you it's to the point of overwhelm. In my experience, what worked for me was quite fundamentally simple. While not revolutionary, I believe the secret to great conversation is asking questions. I often feel that self-improvement is less about novel insights and more about focused reminders.
At first, you'll probably feel cringe. People will think you're interviewing them. You'll blurt out dumb things that barely make sense and feel awkward. I did. But even then, you'll learn people love sharing themselves above all. You'll WANT to handle the awkward feelings because learn you can connect regardless. Over time you'll develop a genuine curiosity. You'll learn to be more present, because the better you listen the better you'll do. You'll learn what questions work and which don't. You'll learn how to form interesting questions around the universal such as emotion, mindset, interests, ect. All of that will happen naturally through trial and error.
The answer is in giving others the spotlight that they rarely have. When you make people feel seen with a great question, that's the cheat code.