u/Bstarteechar

I’ve already shared some info about my situation in a previous post - link below:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships\_advice/s/aBJT3p4DUC

Link TL;DR: my gf sorta shuts me down when I try to initiate intimacy and isn’t willing to talk about our issues with a therapist/counselor.

My gf (27f) and I (28m) have been together for just about 2.5 years. We were extremely compatible when we started dating in terms of intimacy, but we have not had sex more than 5 times in the last 12 months - and it’s made me pretty unhappy with the relationship because my intimacy needs aren’t being met.

I believe it all started when we were watching the show Big Mouth on Netflix about a year ago (coincidence?) and they introduced a character who is asexual. That character describes what it feels like to be asexual and my gf thought it described her pretty well. There have been two notable occasions since then where she has verbalized that she feels that she might be asexual too.

The thing is, she did not know/realize she was a sexual until after we started dating. I love her more than anyone or anything so I support her choice/realization, but she didn’t know/realize that until after we started dating. I did not sign up to have sex so infrequently. I would be willing to discuss a counselor/therapist or even some other less traditional option (throuple or open relationship) but she shuts down most conversations about the topic altogether by claiming that I am trying to change her or that I don’t love her as she is.

There are other issues we have (read more in the link above) but I feel that intimacy is the most important of them because I wouldn’t feel frustrated all the time about NOT being intimate. As such, I wouldn’t stress about the small stuff that we currently fight about (dishes, phone use, responding to “how’s your day?” with “good” and not elaborating beyond that).

So would I be the asshole for breaking up with my gf because we aren’t sexually compatible now that my gf has realized she is asexual?