AITAH for telling my fiance to not tell me he’s gonna do something if he won’t do it?
My fiance (m 28) and I (f 26)have been together 3 1/2 years. We have an almost 2 year old and I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant. Well when we got pregnant with our first, we decided I’d be a SAHM. Come a few months in, he couldn’t support me fully like we’d thought and it was causing us financial stress. So I agreed I’d work something flexible. I got very lucky with a job that I can make my own hours along side spark delivery. We thought this would be best so I can still get stuff done at home and be with our son mostly and still support my bills besides the mortgage (he covers).
Fast forward to about 20 weeks pregnant, there’s some debt we accumulated that I’m working hard to pay off before baby comes. So I have been working and sparking more. Leaving the household chores to be on the bottom of the list. We are no slobs by any means, everything daily is kept up such as wiping the counters and dishes and just keeping the house mostly tighty by me. The other things such as mopping, deep cleaning bathrooms all of our laundry and wiping down our windows (our dogs leave prints on them everyday looking out them when we leave) have been out off a bit longer than I normally would get to them.
Well my fiance last week told me he would wipe down the windows for me. I really appreciate that since it helps me and my love language has always been acts of service. Well it’s now been 5 days since he’s said that and the windows are still dirty and smudged up cause he hasn’t done it. So tonight I cleaned them. When he came home he told me he would’ve done them. I said it’s fine I got it and to just not tell me he’s gonna do something if he’s not gonna do it. He got really offended and told me I act like he does nothing and that I shouldn’t say unnecessary comments like that cause I’m not his mom.. i said I pretty much am because I do clean up after you on the daily (q-tips left in our bathroom, clothes on the floor, shoes left out, lunches made…) but that I’m asking him a simple request to not tell me you’ll do something if you won’t do it. He went off saying he never gave me a date he’d do it so I’m the crazy one.
We got into pretty badly and he’s calling me the asshole for asking him that in the first place and that it started this whole fight… I can be a bit ocd but I don’t shove it down his throat or ask him to do things cause I know he works too, but I feel he doesn’t consider I have been working much more lately, and when I’m home I’m trying to keep up with the house and our toddler. Maybe he’s right and I just need to chill out cause my pregnancy hormones are high.. idk am I the A hole?