I (26M Student) developed feelings for my (24F student) online bestfriend And confessed but got halfway rejected.
Hi, i am not very active in any social media platforms but i saw clips of podcast reading posts from subreddit and found that some people do share quite an insight about other people's situations and i am here expecting to take wisdom from you guys. I am a student working at a part time job. And I met this girl, my best friend, through an online friend 2 years ago and since then, we've been in contact constantly. At first i wasn't really attracted to her but after sharing our lives with each other, our friendship grew deeper. We taught how to rely on each other in times of need and enjoy even the most boring moments of our lives. Then an incident happened she suddenly went silent for a month. Later on, she admitted that she had a suitor, but she ended it immidiately right after it being toxic. At that point, i realized my feelings were no longer just for a friend. But i hid it from her thinking that it might ruin our friendship, and i know that in our situation it's really hard to make it work. To give you guys an idea we're 300+ miles away from each other. Long story short, i hid it for 8months then i got drank and texted her. I confessed. The next day, she brought up the topic. And she said that we can't be together, it's hard to make it work. These are not verbatim coz english isn't our mother tounge but that's the thought. She said that "I didn't told you that we can't be together because i didn't like you. What I'm saying is—eventhough i like you, we still can't be together." "You're my best friend and i don't want to lose you. But I don't want to hurt you, that's why i don't know what to do." She wants me to stay, she said that she doesn't like anyone right now, and her life revolves in her studies and that she won't hurt me intentionally and will be honest at all times, she won't hide anything from me but she can't guarantee what's gonna happen in the future. That she doesn't know what the future holds and things could change and she wishes that i am ready for what could possibly happen.
I don't know what to do. It feels like i am being made an option. And i want some space from her. I know that i need to respect myself, but thinking of pulling away and hurting both of us scares me. I am hoping to see what can i do for the both of us?
Please respect my post i am sincerely opening up to make the most mature decision in this friendship. I will take any decent advice with gratitude. Tya!